Saturday evening saw me going to the Festival Music Allemand at La Bellevilloise with partner in crime and girl about town, Meg. Thankfully it was all about electronica and beautiful people with artfully distressed hair, rather than lederhosen and sausages.
“Is it just me,” I asked Meg, eyes like saucers,”or is there an uncommonly large quantity of good looking menfolk in this room?”
“There is indeed,” she replied “I wonder where they all hide during the day?”
“Well, glad to hear it’s not just me. Because occasionally I get a hormone attack and find everyone attractive, even when they clearly can’t be,” I explained. “I think it’s the human equivalent to a dog being on heat.”
I surveyed the room. All the girls had über cool fringes. If I’d had a pair of scissors to hand, I would have dragged Meg to the toilets and begged her to cut my hair there and then.
As the night wore on and the expensive beer flowed freely, things predictably degenerated, and we found ourselves regressing to behaviour I can only describe as “teenaged”. What else could possibly explain:
- Meg popping out to buy cheap cans of beer which she tried (and failed) to smuggle back into the venue in her tights. I didn’t witness it, but I’m told a can dropped from between her legs in front of a bouncer as though she were laying an egg. I don’t think her puzzled “what on earth was that doing in my pantyhose?” look fooled anyone.
- a bottle of vodka finding its way off the bar and into our possession, which seemed like a strange sort of justice given that there had been supposed to be a free vodka open bar earlier in the evening, which never materialised.
- me groping people’s bottoms. Two male, one female. Apologies to all concerned. (All I can say in my defence is that I watched Shortbus the previous night and it had a profound effect on me).
- me getting into the spirit of the festival by snogging a rather attractive German boy in the middle of the dancefloor (yes, snogging is the only appropriate word which can be used to describe that kind of drunken, swaying liplock).
I came down to earth with a bump the following day with a distinctly thirtysomething hangover, the likes of which I have rarely experienced. But it was fun, and oh so refreshing while it lasted.