petite anglaise

October 17, 2006


Filed under: good time girl, single life — petiteanglaiseparis @ 9:44 pm

It is Saturday evening, a little after 10 p.m. My gmail status – currently one of the most reliable windows into my soul – reads “manshopping”.

Despite the fact that it is a Tadpole-free weekend, somehow I have managed not to sort something out for Saturday night. My inconsiderate friends have watertight alibis: in Australia, watching the rugby at the Stade de France, having friends over to stay. There has been a text message exchange with an antipodean boy I haven’t seen for a while, but even that trail seems to have gone cold.

The previous evening, a “quiet night in” to eat curry with friends spontaneously combusted into an all night chatfest, after which I slept on the couch, stayed for both a (midday) breakfast and an afternoon tartiflette. This should have made me feel better about the small gap in my weekend entertainment schedule. Should have, but hasn’t. I’m bored and borderline desperate. Although slightly hung over, and with my right nostril dripping accusingly, I still feel the need to get out. I crave company.

And so I sit in front of my computer feeling lonely, and it’s probably no coincidence that I’m back on an internet dating site for the first time since May, looking to see whether the shelves of the supermarket of sleaze have been re-stocked since my last visit. A cup of tea steams by my side and I frown at it, wishing I could wave Tadpole’s fairy wand and turn it into a medicinal mojito. My skin is rosy pink, fresh from a short, hot soak in the smallest bath in the world (TM); my towelling bathrobe keeps sliding off my dejectedly drooping shoulders.

Thankfully a girlfriend is home alone too, and available to chat:

a: In on a Saturday, duckling? Everything alright?
me: No! Bored. And ever so slightly man-achey.
a: Man-achey?
me: I need a man for, er, stuff
Wow. The pinnacle of articulacy. I’m sure you can see why I got a book deal now?

[A six minute gap. I start to worry.]

me:I scared you off? You went to fetch a toy? Or your best Gainsbourg impression?
a drink
but less
you know

We shoot the breeze for a while, and then I plead fatigue, stick the kettle on for the last brew of the day, cast around for a DVD to watch in bed. Suddenly my mobile phone trills. It is the occasional antipodean boy. He sounds tipsy, and slurs something apologetic about his phone battery and the lateness of the hour. He is in Ménilmontant, it transpires. In a bar, with a big group of male friends. Would I like to join them?

I look at my tea, my bathrobe, and back at my tea again. It’s a ten minute walk, I would need another ten or so to make myself presentable. Hmm. A big group of male friends, he said?

* * * * * * * * *

The next day, my gmail status reads “itch duly scratched”.

a: good GOD
did you hire a male prostitute or something?
or am I going to deeply regret that question?


  1. “itch duly scratched”

    Please , may I borrow that line in my future endeavors ?

    Comment by J. Philip — October 17, 2006 @ 10:04 pm

  2. Wonderful post.

    It perfectly encapsulates that sitting in on Saturday feeling.

    I currently study part time, and I can relate in that I feel those pangs of ‘Oh god, I wish I was out’, knowing a cohort of companions are out splintering dancefloor tiles.

    Comment by Brocade — October 17, 2006 @ 10:13 pm

  3. You go on with your bad ole’ self!! Way to go girl!!

    Comment by JeninChicago — October 17, 2006 @ 10:47 pm

  4. Bwhaaahh!

    “looking to see whether the shelves of the supermarket of sleaze have been re-stocked since my last visit…”

    Love it.

    And, clever girl, I think you should start a side line in “gmail status window” consulting.

    Comment by Meg — October 17, 2006 @ 10:50 pm

  5. hmmm … so we can sum up your weekend in 3 c’s …classy.

    Comment by camilla — October 17, 2006 @ 11:18 pm

  6. Curry

    Comment by petite — October 17, 2006 @ 11:24 pm

  7. Yaxlich has thought about internet dating. His itch is so bad he thinks it might be eczema but having seen the “shelves of the supermarket of sleaze” comment he is having second thoughts.

    Comment by Yaxlich — October 17, 2006 @ 11:35 pm

  8. ça commence enfin à m’intéresser

    Comment by JPS — October 17, 2006 @ 11:36 pm

  9. A word of advice, Yaxlich: I’d wait until you’ve finished saving up for those new pants of yours, first.

    Comment by petite — October 17, 2006 @ 11:38 pm

  10. I have been reading your website for a while but never ventured to comment. However thanks to you I have now learnt a new word which I will endevour to use at least once tomorrow… Frotting. Fantastic.

    Comment by Daniel — October 17, 2006 @ 11:39 pm

  11. I think it comes from “frottage” or “frotter” in French, and may not actually be a real word? But it’s very, um, evocative.

    Comment by petite — October 17, 2006 @ 11:43 pm

  12. Well you seem to have solved your problem, but should the situation present itself again, may I suggest that you drop any reference to dripping nostrils ? Kinda kills the mood for potential candidates who’d happen to read you.

    Comment by Guillaume Laurent — October 17, 2006 @ 11:49 pm

  13. I think you just described my life there. Indeed, bits of it sounded very familiar. Just take out the wanting a man, the getting the man and the having a friend left at home to talk to and scare and you are pretty much there.

    Nice one ;)

    Comment by Ignorminious — October 17, 2006 @ 11:50 pm

  14. I was sat in, alone and bored, on a Saturday night 6 years ago. A girl popped up on the instant messenger that I hadn’t seen online for a while… we somehow agreed to lunch the next week.

    We’ve been married 5 years now.

    Let that be a warning :)

    Comment by Jonathan — October 18, 2006 @ 12:13 am

  15. You got laid! Thanks for sharing! Your the best!!

    Comment by sophie — October 18, 2006 @ 12:14 am

  16. previous posts’ title seems to be accurate still: “growing pains”… Ain’t you need some holidays or a break of any kind ? Just to stand still and realize ? Or R U missing “le regard (including frottements) de l’autre”, whoever it be till you accept this very “regard” ?

    Comment by Aymardo — October 18, 2006 @ 12:29 am

  17. Euw, random capitalisation of words?!

    Your gchatting pal is UTTERLY passe.

    Comment by anna — October 18, 2006 @ 12:30 am

  18. I learned the word “frotter” while in France…my host mother told me “j’ai frotté le sol,” that is, she scrubbed the floor…donc, oui c’est un vrai mot, mais there’s more than one definition for it :)

    Comment by Angie — October 18, 2006 @ 1:46 am

  19. All alone. In a rabbit hutch. Or a tadpole jar. Itching and scratching.
    I feel rather sad.

    Comment by andrew — October 18, 2006 @ 2:09 am

  20. One of the things I enjoy most about reading the blogs of others is that it opens up the world to us all. I am an Australian who would dearly love to visit France and therefore enjoy hearing of these little snippets of your life there in Paris.

    In terms of appearance your blog is one of the most attractive I have seen. Well done.

    My own blog is at and describes the part of my life as a mother of an aussie rules footballer. My son is just now visiting London for an exhibition match to be played there on Saturday 21st October.

    Kind regards.

    Comment by Sue — October 18, 2006 @ 5:26 am

  21. Yes, I am suffering one of those moments right now. I just came home from a cut and color for the hair and it always looks so FAB-ulous when it has just been done. Only to come home with aforementioned fabulous hair and no one to share it with or plans to show it off in general…

    Comment by Heather — October 18, 2006 @ 6:12 am

  22. in australia! yes I have heard jim use that excuse whilts here…in the desert… ha!

    Comment by simon — October 18, 2006 @ 6:45 am

  23. A dripping nostril of the CoKate variety? Blimey!

    Comment by Clare — October 18, 2006 @ 8:35 am

  24. I didn’t say that, nor did I say I got laid. But you lot are all filthy, rotten deviants and I wash my hands of you…

    Comment by petite — October 18, 2006 @ 8:45 am

  25. I feel your relief. Sounds like it turned out to be the perfect weekend!

    On a sidenote, I’m thinking about having a baby just so I can buy one of those crazy fluffy bags in the adverts on your site, and a pair of those rockin’ pink ‘Isabooties’…

    Comment by redlady — October 18, 2006 @ 8:57 am

  26. Well, exactly. I, for one, would like more details of the scratching, even if it didn’t involve getting laid.

    Comment by BlondebutBright — October 18, 2006 @ 8:58 am

  27. re: Petite #24: are you denying it then? I was going to ask whether it was the occasional antipodean boy or one of his (older?) mates?????
    Sorry, none of my business but you do arouse curiosity . . . . .

    Comment by Sablonneuse — October 18, 2006 @ 10:01 am

  28. I love how you don’t say who A is but for those who read her blog also can immediatly catch her style. . .

    Comment by Nicole — October 18, 2006 @ 10:22 am

  29. Your post has got me thinking of the beans & egg picture again Petite and you’ve got me giggling away to my heart’s content.

    You’re a terrible woman!

    Comment by Trevor — October 18, 2006 @ 10:40 am

  30. I am neither denying nor confirming any rumours.

    Let me just say that in accordance with the very sensible rules laid down by Debrettes Etiquette for Girls, I “never publicly scratch myself”.

    Comment by petite — October 18, 2006 @ 10:51 am

  31. As an aside, may I comment on one of the current reads on the righthand sidebar? (totally off-topic, but I hope you don’t mind…)

    What I Loved is a FANTASTIC read; I have to say it’s right up there at the top of my list as one of my favorite books of all time (OK, maybe I have a tendency to exaggerate, but it really is THAT good). I do hope you enjoy it. Stimulating, engrossing, thought-provoking — it is SO many things all wrapped into one, it is too difficult to describe. I loved it so much, I read all of Siri Hustvedt’s other work — but none of them top this one. The Blindfold is quite good, but again, What I Loved is the best.

    I’m still waiting impatiently for Ms. Hustvedt to publish a new novel, but in recent years she has been working on more non-fiction pieces, namely relating to art history and appreciation.

    OK, back to regularly scheduled programming. Sorry to interrupt!

    Comment by Always Ace — October 18, 2006 @ 11:12 am

  32. I’ve just finished it actually, and I did like it a lot (intimidating though). The Maile Meloy book is also excellent. I’m fortunate to be working my way through a big pile of free books at the moment kindly donated by wooing publishers and agents over the summer, and most enjoyable it is too…

    Comment by petite — October 18, 2006 @ 11:29 am

  33. Frotting, petite? Does that make you a scrubber then?
    (Couldn’t resist, sorry.) ;)

    Comment by suziboo — October 18, 2006 @ 11:42 am

  34. Glad your Saturday night out came up to scratch.

    Comment by Parkin Pig — October 18, 2006 @ 12:13 pm

  35. What Petite might or might not have done is rather secondary. There are some perfectly feasible other alternatives no one came up with. What all these active minds responding once again show is the creativity, style and talent she has to describe life and its details. Best of luck with the writing, it can be challenging at times, but it will pay-off in the end.

    Comment by MF — October 18, 2006 @ 12:17 pm

  36. I just wish I knew people with names as cool as Steve Rhino and Tom Carwash. As it is, the most exciting person I have on my gmail is… nope, retract that last statement, none of them are exciting!

    Comment by Imogen — October 18, 2006 @ 12:25 pm

  37. Mm, more blog/web pseudonyms and my made up way of referring to people, you’ll find..

    Comment by petite — October 18, 2006 @ 12:27 pm

  38. I’m amazed how this has become a means of communication within a means of communication.

    *changes gmail status to snoozing*

    Comment by greavsie — October 18, 2006 @ 1:47 pm

  39. How did you handle the night out with the boys? Apart from duly scatching your ‘itch’.
    Yes, I agree, ‘Things I loved’ is quite intimidating but well worth reading.

    Comment by AussieGil — October 18, 2006 @ 3:03 pm

  40. Ok, so that was maybe more than I needed to know about you (but hey, I’m single and have been there, and done that — frotting included). But what I really want to hear more about is the BOOK DEAL. Can’t wait until you’re ready to talk about THAT! (Way to go!)

    Comment by The Bold Soul — October 18, 2006 @ 3:25 pm

  41. Petite, I’ve been itching to thank you for Tim Winton: some time ago you had him in your sidebar and I thought I’d check him out… A pleasure.
    (And no other itches from me, I’m “all hooked up”)

    Comment by alcessa — October 18, 2006 @ 3:40 pm

  42. Artful… steam, hot bath, rosy skin, frotting, craving, fairy wand, group… Is it my own imagination or my right hand left the mouse to touch and caress my left forearm while reading you (you are so powerful Petite)! Mais je reste un peu sur ma FIN! I’ll come back to read more. You filthy deviant rotten witch!

    Comment by 4 roses — October 18, 2006 @ 3:41 pm

  43. Petite – you are a tease
    You’ve got your readers frothing at the mouth at this one!

    Comment by anxious — October 18, 2006 @ 3:41 pm

  44. “I didn’t say that, nor did I say I got laid. But you lot are all filthy, rotten deviants and I wash my hands of you…”

    Oh come now! That’s why you love us…….Besides, think of it as research for the book……..

    Comment by Dave of the Lake — October 18, 2006 @ 3:44 pm

  45. Petite,

    found myself in similar pickle about two months ago, newish flirtation but hadn’t been in touch for a while, bemoaning my sitting-in status in front of telly with parents (visting, don’t live), just in bed in fluffy jammies when get a text….get up like lightning, ready in 5mins flat and in taxi to meet the sailor boy. Best thing I ever did, still seeing him now and tres heureux :o)



    Comment by Susie — October 18, 2006 @ 3:47 pm

  46. I’m glad you liked S.H.’s book; I thought it was beautifully written. When you say intimidating, do you mean in reference to her writing style or the story itself?

    Comment by Always Ace — October 18, 2006 @ 3:49 pm

  47. And what did you think of Zadie Smiths “On Beauty” which I saw on your side bar recently?

    Comment by Laura — October 18, 2006 @ 3:51 pm

  48. I am working up to a sex scene!!! In my book. I think I might have to ask OneTrack to write it because I’m a prude. And, yes, I do realise I’m a tease.

    On Beauty – didn’t like it as much as I felt I ought to. Felt I should have revised Howard’s End beforehand, but the intellectual approach to reading is not for me. I’m interested in words which jump off the page at me because they are so right and get to the heart of things, not literary exercises in style. But feel free to disagree.

    Comment by petite — October 18, 2006 @ 3:57 pm

  49. decided to look you up after the bazarre five live moment earlier. Matey from Usk sounded well weird. what is “blog” please? Can I have one?


    Comment by paul williams — October 18, 2006 @ 4:02 pm

  50. I agree with you totally re.”On Beauty”-I am nearing the end and it does seem at times like an unecessarily intellectualised novelat times whereas I didnt find “White Teeth” so much like that.

    Comment by Laura — October 18, 2006 @ 4:13 pm

  51. Petite-Did you ever read “A Confederacy of Dunces?” (I may have asked that once before, but I can’t remember) I would HIGHLY recommend it……….

    Comment by Dave of the Lake — October 18, 2006 @ 4:18 pm

  52. Where are all the women desperately in need of scratching when I go out to bars?

    Comment by Adam — October 18, 2006 @ 5:17 pm

  53. Forgive me for being thick and out of date, but what is gmail? And my filthy weekend in Paris is coming up in a couple of weeks. My bedroom ceiling has just fallen in – £500 later and the insurance bastards have just said “Tough” – so, as we are now broke, can anyone suggest some lovely, thoroughly ‘love’ inducing restaurants in Paree that won’t just be une sandwich jambon? You all helped with the hotel, so please…

    Comment by Welsh Cake — October 18, 2006 @ 5:51 pm

  54. Go Petite!!

    Hope for other single girlies! And in answer to Adam, we’re in reading other people’s blogs right now.

    Comment by sas — October 18, 2006 @ 5:54 pm

  55. Petite.. please Can you… er …scratch… hum you know… the word “touch” from my previous post… well because… glups, I’m a prude.

    Comment by 4 roses — October 18, 2006 @ 6:12 pm

  56. so is “frotter” related to “frottis” then? Hmmm…

    Comment by petite ecossaise — October 18, 2006 @ 8:25 pm

  57. GMail is Googles’ Email service. In Europe it;s now googlemail due to copyright issues. But those of us who signed up ages ago (or in the states) have IMO it’s the best out there. But today, Petite “turned me on” to Status stuff – silly here never knew it existed!


    Comment by ScoobyDew — October 18, 2006 @ 9:01 pm

  58. I am smirking as I type. Go girl…


    ps My French bath was also extremely small, but if yours is similar then I am sure you have already discovered that if you slide your bum off the seat and into the foot-bit, you can at least warm your shoulders.

    Comment by Little Red Squirrel — October 18, 2006 @ 11:57 pm

  59. “I didn’t say that, nor did I say I got laid. But you lot are all filthy, rotten deviants and I wash my hands of you…”

    Ah, you know she didn’t mean it, Dave, she was just joshing, keeping herself nice in a ‘yes minister’ sort of way.

    You know…You may think that, but I couldn’t possibly Sir Humphrey was wont to say.

    Comment by AussieGil — October 19, 2006 @ 1:20 am

  60. Whooohoo! This post had me chuckling and inevitably, snorting my hot cocoa out of my nostrils. Whether or not you got busy, it gave me a good laugh. Thanks :)

    Comment by H. (aka. NC_State_gal) — October 19, 2006 @ 3:34 am

  61. By the way Petite, do you have any news from Saki?
    Coz I really miss her.

    Comment by JPS — October 19, 2006 @ 7:18 am

  62. Thanks for the gmail explanation! But please, where to hang out stylishly if a little cheaply in PAris? I’m staying at Hotel Therese in Rue Therese. Merci xx

    Comment by Welsh Cake — October 19, 2006 @ 8:43 am

  63. I re-read your last spell waiting the next one and I’m wondering. Do you have an “antipodean boy” for each part of the City or is it only for Ménilmuche ?

    Does he play too old pop songs as:

    “Ménilmontant, mais oui madame,
    C’est là que g laissé mon coeur,
    C’est là que je viens retrouver mon âme,
    Toute ma flamme, tout mon bonheur…”

    Paris is so romantic in aut.. aaaaatcchhoouum!!!

    Comment by 4 roses — October 19, 2006 @ 9:44 am

  64. Love inducing restaurants on a budget. Hmm. Forgive me, but I haven’t been for a romantic meal in a long time. I tend to eat out with girlfriends in pretty low key places.

    Any gallant gentlemen who may be reading this blog and would like to take me out to such a place so that I can do some research in order to better advise Welsh Cake, drop me an email at the usual address.

    Comment by petite — October 19, 2006 @ 10:13 am

  65. Bonjour petite,

    If you like the company of an Italian man in Paris just drop me an email :-)


    Comment by Eric — October 19, 2006 @ 11:47 am

  66. gmale ? brilliant

    Comment by matt — October 19, 2006 @ 11:58 am

  67. It was Francis Urquhart in House of Cards who said ‘You may say that but I could not possibly comment’ or words to that effect – although Sir Humphrey probably came close
    And since I am being pedantic, why has nobody objected to the blatant sexism involved in these references to the ‘occasional antipodean boy’. I assume that ‘the boy’ is in fact a man – PA surely cannot have sunk that low. It is insulting to all men for one of their number to be regarded as a mere sexual convenience and I for one am emotionally scarred by the whole post – although I admit the emotion in question is a sort of wistful jealousy.

    Comment by laurence — October 19, 2006 @ 1:00 pm

  68. Way to go! A girl has to have her man-fix every once in a while. At least.

    Comment by Anias Nin — October 19, 2006 @ 1:42 pm

  69. That’s impressive! As we discovered a couple of weeks ago, it’s always when we speak about sex in our blogs that we get the most comments…

    Next time you feel itchy, just go to Ménilmontant (btw: very nice and cheap caipirinha at the Berimbar) without even connecting to the Internet: men on the shelves are always boring, or mad, or both at the same time.

    Comment by Sylrob — October 19, 2006 @ 2:10 pm

  70. Top post Petite!

    (btw, are you talking Welsh Cake or Welsh (Beef) Cake?)



    Comment by TryingTimes — October 19, 2006 @ 3:43 pm

  71. I’m just here to say that there’s nothing wrong with scratching your OWN itch!! Just incase there is not a giddy group of groping gmales gathering around you petite! GIDDIAP!

    Comment by beaunejewels — October 19, 2006 @ 4:22 pm

  72. Me too Laurance, me too.

    {sighs wistfully}

    Comment by David in London — October 19, 2006 @ 4:33 pm

  73. I was all prepared to comment on how learning to enjoy staying in on Saturday nights was a sign of, er, maturity, when, bam, you’re talking about getting itches scratched. Yikes. Well done, dear girl, well done (I think).

    Comment by Sophmom — October 19, 2006 @ 4:35 pm

  74. It reminds me of those lazy saturday nights when you don’t even feel like shaving your legs. Thanks for the post, cause now I’ll remember it can still be useful to take some time and do it anyway ;)

    Comment by pardonmyfrench — October 19, 2006 @ 5:32 pm

  75. Hé! p’tite rosbif.
    you arose the multitudes.
    Du calme

    Comment by papavert — October 19, 2006 @ 5:52 pm

  76. That’s the joy of being married, all your itches get scratched on demand! Great post, Petite, you have a way with words and make me smile.

    Comment by Susannah — October 19, 2006 @ 6:03 pm

  77. Mademoiselle,
    Nous avons le regret de vous informer que l’article que vous venez de commander est momentanément indisponible dans nos magasins car nous sommes en rupture de stock. Nous vous informons néanmoins qu’une prochaine livraison d’articles de substitution (en provenance des antipodes) devrait pleinement pouvoir satisfaire vos besoins et attentes et ravir vos soirées les plus nulles. En effet, une nouvelle gamme de produit permet de combler vos désirs tout en vous débouchant les narines. Nous vous remercions pour la confiance que vous nous accordez, et vous invitons à revenir régulièrement consulter nos rayons.
    Le Directeur.

    Comment by 4 roses — October 19, 2006 @ 6:39 pm

  78. Susannah, I don’t think it always works like that. It should, but it doesn’t.

    Comment by Sophmom — October 19, 2006 @ 8:13 pm

  79. totally totally off the subject, but I’ve just tried a search in your blog and was unsuccessful. Is it a huge imposition to ask if you remember which comments in which post described readers’ recommendations for Paris hotels? Am I missing some extremely obvious way to search? (I’m wondering b/c my parents are spending a few days in Paris next summer.) If this is too big a request, please please don’t take your time!

    As always, I love reading and look forward eagerly to your book!

    Comment by molly — October 19, 2006 @ 9:26 pm

  80. It was on the post called navigo a while back… I have all powerful behind the scenes search thingies you see.

    Comment by petite — October 19, 2006 @ 9:48 pm

  81. So what about Satanic Kitten?
    Say something please
    T’as des nouvelles de Saki?

    Comment by JPS — October 19, 2006 @ 10:52 pm

  82. I haven’t the foggiest what you mean?

    Comment by petite — October 19, 2006 @ 11:00 pm

  83. Hmmm, reading your post brings me back. I am newly in relationship (can you call it that when it is so baby), and remember so vividly the ache, dull ache, not like heart ache, just sort of bored, sort of lonely, but not enough to make radical changes. That sort of ache. Well captured. And well addressed!

    Quick introduction might be in order. I came to you via my counsin’s blog… the iceland weather report. Thanks for sharing all of you!

    Comment by Signy — October 20, 2006 @ 1:02 am

  84. Ahh. Gmale – the perfect solution for itching the Gspot ;-)

    Nice touch petite

    Comment by tricky — October 20, 2006 @ 1:19 am

  85. Public service announcement:

    I will be unable to update/moderate today as a gentleman is coming to, ahem, rewire my fusebox. So power outage = no computer, no internet and no petite.

    Normal service will resume shortly.

    Comment by petite — October 20, 2006 @ 8:42 am

  86. Hi Petite,

    Good blog – made me laugh a lot especially the bit about on line dating sites – had very little response from them myself , but then I’m not a thirty something. Interesting to learn that women have yearnings as well … I thought it was only a man thing.. By the way found out what being “dooced” is – not a sexual activity but being sacked for mentioning your company on your blog – googled it and found interesting and pretty pics of queen of the skies who was “dooced”

    Look forward to your next blog

    Comment by Richard — October 20, 2006 @ 8:48 am

  87. thanks for the words which remind me some situations I can smile about now … :-)

    Comment by bootsy — October 20, 2006 @ 11:15 am

  88. What did people do on lonely Saturday nights without Gmale?!!?

    No wonder the previous generations got married so much earlier :-)

    Keep it up – Im loving your work girl!

    Comment by Lucie — October 20, 2006 @ 11:45 am

  89. I feel that reading comments sometimes makes the content of the post less meaningful so I often ignore them but your blog is most interesting and extremely well written. Thank you. I only started to read the comments in order to work out who the commenting lover really is…or was…

    Comment by Michelle — October 20, 2006 @ 12:07 pm

  90. Hey Petite…file this one under “Racy”. “Good time girl” indeed. ;-) You’re funny. It was my birthday Wednesday (yeah thanks) and my little boy (2 years 3 months)ran in and said to me “Connard”! Not once, but several times. I didn’t know whether to laugh or cry. What do they teach them at crèche these days anyway? And it’s not like we live in a dodgey Paris suburb either.

    Here’s one for you – do French men have “a little black book”? Or do they call it something different? Just wondering.

    Comment by Les Miserable — October 20, 2006 @ 2:20 pm

  91. I’ve only read your bio, but I think this may be something of interest to you.

    Comment by Trent — October 20, 2006 @ 5:44 pm

  92. Hi tiny english girl!
    Heard you on thr radio on Wednesday so decided to give your blog a whirl. Great fun! Fanx for making my day.

    Comment by Colin Page — October 20, 2006 @ 5:54 pm

  93. I’m bored… still trapped at the office… It’s getting cold here… Dark. And I’ve got nothing to say… Craving for week end. No more employees. cleaning lady gone. No antipodean pneumatic secretary to type this… and kill time… Pfff… Captivated by the weird weird moves of my right thumb (I wonder when it began?). So I re-re-re-read your last spell Petite and I think you’re absolutely right. And I close my eyes for a prayer (Phenix,Phenix won’t you come). But all I see is… a fusebox.

    Comment by 4 roses — October 20, 2006 @ 6:52 pm

  94. Thank you all powerful one! To navigo I will go.

    Comment by molly — October 20, 2006 @ 11:50 pm

  95. Time to live your live beyond the dictates of the corporate world and those who are thus inihiibited by these rules.

    Stretch out you little wings and fly, if you still can.

    Comment by Jo Ann — October 21, 2006 @ 1:56 am

  96. your life…
    your little wings…

    Comment by Jo Ann — October 21, 2006 @ 1:57 am

  97. Prenez garde,Petite…

    It’s all fun and games until someone gets short circuited…Here’s hoping you find a very qualified “electrician” to play with on a regular basis ;)

    Happy sparkfest!

    Comment by Belle — October 21, 2006 @ 2:23 am

  98. Speaking of book deals and Australia, are you aware that you’re in The Courier Mail’s “QWeekend” liftout magazine this morning?

    The article gives a most desperate feel but still points to the power of blogging…and your site.

    Cheers luvvy.

    Comment by Mungo — October 21, 2006 @ 6:31 am

  99. I was wondering whether you could tell me about the fifty ways and do you think it’s right that before you can eat you have to dance like Fred Estaire

    Comment by Craig — October 21, 2006 @ 7:45 am

  100. Mungo – no, had no idea, rarely do… but the book will be available in Australia, one day, as these things get sold for “UK and Commonwealth” distribution.

    All that remains is for me to actually, er, write it.

    Comment by petite — October 21, 2006 @ 10:50 am

  101. What a wonderful post! It made me remember a previous life when I always felt that I had to do something special on a Saturday night. In New York City that usually translated to a hundred things or so!

    Comment by Lost in France — October 21, 2006 @ 12:58 pm

  102. sometimes a scratch is all a girl needs.
    You’re such a tease.

    Comment by chantel — October 21, 2006 @ 8:52 pm

  103. Have you been to see the Doisneau exhibition at the Hotel de Ville – poster here:
    — really great photos of old Paris.

    Comment by dr adder — October 22, 2006 @ 1:35 am

  104. Hmmm…a lady who can make herself presentable in 10 minutes…you sound like the perfect date :-)

    I too remember the days of choosing between drinking tea or meeting up with a slightly inebriated member of the opposite sex.

    How times change…Darjeeling anyone?

    Comment by Templar — October 22, 2006 @ 2:56 am

  105. naughty…

    Comment by t — October 22, 2006 @ 10:08 am

  106. Mmmm

    Those were the days…. going out on the town Thursday night + Friday night + Saturday night and if we missed any one of those nights we thought: That’s a night out on the town I will never be able to get back!

    A loving wife and 2 adorable children later…Hey! what happended to my 20s :]

    Comment by David Giorgi | Expat France — October 22, 2006 @ 11:54 am

  107. You are such a joy to read. There are so many liknesses to stories in my life. You really have a knack for using just the right words. Humorous, teasing, and yet sincere. I love it!

    Comment by Leslie — October 22, 2006 @ 6:32 pm

  108. The irony of life is that when itches can be easily scratched (e. g. married life), they´re not so itchy any more… That´s the magic of singledom… Just a thought :)

    Comment by P — October 22, 2006 @ 11:35 pm

  109. Hi p. not going to work today.. am exhausted, emptied, eventuelly. just wanted to say i regret my words. no you’re not a ****** ******* ****** *****. You’re a Lady. True one. Prude and, yes, a tease. When there are balls and rackets it’s all fun and naturel to play, n’est-ce pas!… what to say after all.. You’re the writer. As far as I’m concerned, it was a pretty nice match, indeed! (I’d say: 6-4; 4-6; 7-5; 1-6; 7-0, fair isn’t it). Well never mind. I think the sex scene you needed is now in the fusebox… (and I think I really should “ahem” dip my feather more often into your inkwell, deeeeeep purple)… une pourprée royale.
    I’ll stay on this side of the net for a while, as your… fan… antipodean Girl..

    Comment by 4 roses — October 23, 2006 @ 9:49 am

  110. I’m with P. It’s good to have an itch to scratch. Even better if the scratching satisfies!


    Comment by sp999 — October 23, 2006 @ 12:55 pm

  111. Fascinating developments, does this mean that #10 in ’34 things’ is in need of an update?

    Comment by Tom — October 23, 2006 @ 5:22 pm

  112. Technically no, because it has been an occasional arrangment rather than an isolated incident.

    Comment by petite — October 23, 2006 @ 5:31 pm

  113. Wow… a booty call – I am in awe!

    As a very recent newbie to your life, I had no expectaton of any proclamation, but this is…

    PS. Many have said it better, but for my two-pennorth worth, great site, a life fully lived, wonderful littl’un – you have been gifted by several of the Muses – Quick guess as to which ones (in my estimation):

    PPS. Mythology recounts that muses did not always have life their own way.

    Comment by Tom — October 23, 2006 @ 6:52 pm

  114. 1. frotting

    Rubbing one’s crotch against unexpecting people, furniture or walls. A favourite of sex-starved Japanese businessmen on the sub-way.

    I caught him frotting the fridge once, it was just wrong.


    Brilliant! Thanks for this, I love learning new words, even if they are slang! I was also once a victim to a particularly horrible incident of frotting on the number 76 bus. You know who you are!

    Comment by Ellie Wharton — October 23, 2006 @ 10:05 pm

  115. I’m gutted that I’m too late to be labelled a dirty rotten deviant.

    Comment by Mike Da Hat — October 24, 2006 @ 10:30 am

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