petite anglaise

May 15, 2006

mythique

Filed under: single life — bipolarinparis @ 12:44 pm

A good friend of mine revealed to me the other day that she had signed up to the meetic online dating service. I told her a cautionary tale, about a girl I know who was stalked by an over-enthusiastic meeticboy, who bombarded her with texts, emails and calls when she declined to see him for a second date, until finally a male friend was drafted in to warn Mr Unwanted Attentions off, for good.

I advised her to meet prospective beaus on neutral territory, preferably by day, and to avoid revealing where she lived (or letting any gentleman, however gallant he might seem, escort her home after a first date). Deliberated with her about the pros and cons of adding a photograph to her profile.

Then I thought little more of it, preoccupied as I have been with somewhat unexpected and dramatic events in my own life.

That is, until hordes of meetic-matched couples began to waylay me at every turn.

First, there was an acquaintance at a party, who pointed out a guy at the other side of the room, whispering conspiratorially in my ear: “lui, c’est mon mythique”. At first I frowned, unsure as to what she meant. Later, when the conversation turned to online dating, the penny dropped, and I realised I hadn’t misheard, only misspelled.

A couple of days later, invited to a picnic by the Seine in honour of the first balmy evening of Spring, I listened, fascinated, as an attractive couple, ostensibly in the grip of that first heady rush of infatuation, recounted their online meeting, and compared the pros and cons of meetic versus match.

Faced with the evidence that perfectly normal, well-adjusted, good-looking people use the services of this kind of site, as a means of meeting new people, outside the confines of their immediate circle of friends, I am beginning to wonder if I’m not cutting off my nose to spite my face by holding back. After all, I did meet Mr Frog in not dissimilar circumstances, albeit on someone else’s blind date.

And I regularly meet fellow bloggers and commenters, both male and female, so why should meetic be any different?

Two things are currently holding me back. The first is this famous blog, now published as a book, chronicling a year of casual meetic encounters in explicit and misogynistic detail.

The other is the fact that men have to pay, but women can sign up for free.

The jury is still out.

99 Comments

  1. Petite!!! Good to have you back!!! Hope your time away has been beneficial.

    Comment by David in London — May 15, 2006 @ 1:26 pm

  2. you should give it a try you know. It’s fun and something really pathetic.

    Comment by schuey — May 15, 2006 @ 1:42 pm

  3. Wow, never heard of Meetic…While I’m not a fan of Match.com for example (too many weird people there for me), I am a fan of eHarmony and have met someone amazing through that site. It didn’t work out, he had unresolved ex-wife issues, but, it was such an amazing experience and such a great match that I’ve continued to use the service (if not sporadically, when I have the time).

    I’m very cautious of meeting people in person that I’ve “met” online though, so I’ve only done that once. But, if I were matched with somone that amazing again, I would certainly meet them in person. Why not?

    I think people are quickly getting past the taboos associated with online dating. Here in NYC, most people that I know have or would use it. My co-workers are actually the ones that virtually stalked/hounded me into using eHarmony.

    Hmmm…I might even try Meetic when I move to France.

    Comment by Dina — May 15, 2006 @ 1:45 pm

  4. There surely are many good reasons for meeting people “outside the confines of one’s immediate circle of friends” or relatives. Some basic precautions are not a bad idea, either. So: why not?

    Comment by alcessa — May 15, 2006 @ 1:50 pm

  5. fun and pathetic, simultaneously? Er, can you elaborate, Schuey?

    Comment by petite — May 15, 2006 @ 1:55 pm

  6. The Dumbo the flying elephant ride at DIsneyland is fun and pathetic too. Well when you’re 25 and have to shoehorn your arse into the seat it is.

    I know plenty of people that have met through speed dating. That and internet dating terrify me – just the thought of being rejected by so many people who don’t know me brings me out in hives (not the best look when you have a couple of minutes to attract someones attention).

    Comment by Hmmm — May 15, 2006 @ 2:09 pm

  7. Petite,

    Have you discovered ‘myspace’ yet? It’s proven fruitful for a number of my friends and is a forum for friendship and networking as well as romance…

    Comment by northerncreative(was ladyjo) — May 15, 2006 @ 2:10 pm

  8. Are you being published???

    Comment by May — May 15, 2006 @ 2:17 pm

  9. pardon? where did that come from?

    Comment by petite — May 15, 2006 @ 2:19 pm

  10. on an unrelated subject:

    does anyone else think that visitor n° 666,666, of Slough, UK, who searched through 66 search results on Yahoo UK (for “wee wee”) and then clicked here might be someone I don’t want to meet?

    Comment by petite — May 15, 2006 @ 2:23 pm

  11. This is getting a little bit surreal. i don’t know what the hell everyone is on about.

    Comment by David in London — May 15, 2006 @ 2:26 pm

  12. Go for it. I think that it really is a stigma for those of us that didn’t grow up online. I know of plenty of happy couples that have met this way, and they never would have crossed paths in “real” life. I think it would be especially rewarding for someone like you that enjoys expressing herself through writing; it’s a nice way to meet men and enjoy the lure of their words before any chemical attraction can come in and monopolize the situation.

    Comment by BlondebutBright — May 15, 2006 @ 2:27 pm

  13. Welcome Back.

    I have missed your writing.

    Maxly

    Comment by Maxly — May 15, 2006 @ 2:47 pm

  14. Glad you’re back — we missed you !– busy signing bank paperwork?

    I met my husband through friends, and their friends, so I never did the net. But my best friend has been dating exclusively via matchmaker sites, in the US. She loves it, and although has not met true love, has made a great deal of friends… maybe not what you’re after but… the 1st dates turned into “we-have-a-lot-in-common-but-we-won’t-be-lovers-so-let’s-be-friends” and she enjoys meeting all thse new people… no ax-murders or psychos for the moment…

    Comment by magillicuddy — May 15, 2006 @ 2:56 pm

  15. It works -as Time Out, etc, did and still does, pre-digitally – and for the non-digitally inclined. I know. Try it. On the other hand 1) you may have to trawl through a lot of duds. Boring. On the other hand 2) time alone also has its merits as you’ve indicated recently, at times. A bit more of that first? It takes a long time to recover from where you’ve been. Some of us never give/gave it enough.

    Comment by grannyp — May 15, 2006 @ 2:57 pm

  16. the guy from slough is gareth keenan, beware !

    Comment by nathan — May 15, 2006 @ 3:10 pm

  17. i’ve done it, and although i’ve only had one date that turned into a (albeit rather short-lived) relationship, it does provide a bit of good natured chatting up of the opposite sex, to keep in practice so to speak.
    just keep to public spaces and private emails until you know you dont have a creep on the other side and you’re fine.
    and if anyone can recommend a UK/London site let me know! the boys on the one i used were getting a bit boring ;-)

    Comment by jacqui — May 15, 2006 @ 3:15 pm

  18. welcome back, petite. i have no advice about online dating, though. i’ve never heard any stories from friends about it, either good OR bad. but here’s another thought, though: why not try meeting through the blogosphere first? you have met many new friends who publish blogs, perhaps one of them knows someone who would be also interested in a date or two. rather than trusting some online service filter, you’d have some people who you at least know (and who know you) filtering for you. i don’t know — just a thought.

    Comment by franko — May 15, 2006 @ 3:21 pm

  19. I met my husband on an online dating service and we’ve been married for almost 2 years now!

    Comment by Gemma — May 15, 2006 @ 3:27 pm

  20. Sorry I read this:

    The first is this famous blog, now published as a book, chronicling a year of casual meetic encounters in explicit and misogynistic detail.

    and thought you were getting published!

    Comment by May — May 15, 2006 @ 3:32 pm

  21. Re comment about visitor n° 666,666, of Slough, UK – he (or she) is what I love about the internet. There is always someone out there to make you feel normal.

    Comment by SimonInBrussels — May 15, 2006 @ 4:19 pm

  22. you already said it all when advising your friend not to go that way, and that is the kind of thing i would say also. Something like: one can find his soulmate without the help of an e-matcher, and if he does not then that was meant to be, etc. The bottomline is, although friends of mine who tried it were very happy with their dates, none of them could build up a relationship upon it…

    Comment by Thomas — May 15, 2006 @ 4:31 pm

  23. Or you can pretend you are just good friends at the Lunch Club – http://www.thelunchclub.net Now available in London but not Paris, yet.

    Comment by fibsor — May 15, 2006 @ 4:34 pm

  24. Welcome back and I hope if there were problems they have been well and truly sorted.
    I met my first husband through an agency (pre-online) and it was a complete disaster, but then, so was the second marriage – so maybe I can’t choose men!
    If you are careful where you meet etc. I don’t see why you shouldn’t give it a go. From what I’ve read you have a much more organised head on your shoulders than I had at your age!! BY the way, I’m surprised you are not bombarded with offers of dates from some of your male readers – or are they all attached?
    Good luck!!

    Comment by Sandy — May 15, 2006 @ 4:38 pm

  25. A couple of months or so back I read something in a newspaper travel supplement about a dating website that fixes people up who are going on the same flight. The idea is that you are introduced at the airport and chat to the person throughout the flight, and then… who knows? It made me think of your post where you talked about the man on the plane you thought moved because he didn’t want to sit near a child, and the whole debate that ensued in the comments box about meeting dates on planes. Sadly I can’t remember the name of the website now, but Google might be able to help…

    Comment by old school friend — May 15, 2006 @ 4:49 pm

  26. I met my husband online, but not through a dating service. I joined a UK online dating service a number of years ago when they were still new and met:
    a journalist doing an article on online dating services, who “didn’t need any new friends” after our first date;
    a couple of nice guys who I saw a few times each until one of us ran out of initative;
    and a stalker… well, more of a wet piece of celery who kept following me around.

    Comment by katie — May 15, 2006 @ 4:56 pm

  27. I met my husband online after making fun of other people for doing just that. I had to eat my own words.

    He lived here in Strasbourg, France and I lived in Ohio, USA. We fell in love after talking several months getting to know each other without ever even knowing what the other looked like. Yesterday was our five year wedding anniversary (we met eight years ago this October) and we have had three children together. Other than how we met and being from differenct countries we are not unlike any other couple.

    You are just as likely to meet a whacko or jerk any other place as online.

    I am glad you are back…my husband has been teasing me about checking up on you to see if you have posted yet. I hope all is well with you and I will keep you in my thoughts.

    Comment by Pumpkin — May 15, 2006 @ 6:06 pm

  28. I have to add that we met in an AOL (French) chat room. I have always loved France and wanted to see what French I could remember from college. I didn’t retain much French from college I found but my husband did remember his English. :)
    The funny thing is I didn’t want to go into an American chat room because I didn’t want to meet any men. It’s true that you find love when you least expect it.

    Comment by Pumpkin — May 15, 2006 @ 6:10 pm

  29. Meetic was a great experience in my life. I met my boyfriend there a year ago and we are getting married next september! I have to admit that when you are single and already in the thirties, it’s a great way to enlarge your circle of friends instead of being deseperatly stuck with married-and-2 children friends! So give it a chance.. and even if you don’t find The Big Love, you’ll meet very interesting people.

    Comment by Morgane — May 15, 2006 @ 6:53 pm

  30. Welcome back… we’ve missed you! OK, online dating: been there, done that. (1) Your advice to your friend was perfect: meet on neutral territory, don’t let him come to your house until you’ve gone out with him a few times, etc. All good common sense for any dating scenario but especially online dating. (2) I have dated online and also once signed up for a private non-computer-based matchmaking service, and would say the results were similar in terms of success/failure ratios, and in fact I probably had better luck choosing my own dates online than the fix-ups I got from the matchmaking service. I had more losers than winners (and the losers provided me with endlessly humorous stories to tell to my friends), but in actual fact I met the last man I really fell in love with through an on-line personal ad I placed, and he answered.

    So to me, it’s just as viable a means of meeting someone as anything else. Being a writer, I tend ot judge a book not only by its cover but by the words in it, and so with online dating you can use the written word to get a sense of who the guy is and what he’s really all about by how he expesses himself. You can get to know each other a bit via email before going to phone or in-person meetings. You can set the pace.

    Think of it as just another way of putting yourself “out there”, making yourself available for love. Plan to have fun with it and not take it too seriously. Don’t make it the end-all and be-all of your existence if you don’t meet anyone that way. If nothing else you’ll have good fodder for your blog.

    And to your point on visitor 666,666… yes, he’s someone you definitely don’t need to know better. Any more than I really care to know more about the person who found me by Googling “tips to make yourself presentable for arranged marriage” or “breast guillotine”. Run, don’t walk!

    Comment by The Bold Soul — May 15, 2006 @ 7:23 pm

  31. Tough one. However being a man who once tried the ad dating thing. I think most men like the buzz of dating and trying to find a woman for fun/sex. If you want a real relationship built on friendship first, then I would join clubs or organisations, sports, walking, charity treks etc. Chance is you may meet a like minded mate. Good luck whatever you decide.

    Comment by K — May 15, 2006 @ 7:25 pm

  32. BTW since no one else has asked yet: what were the “somewhat unexpected and dramatic events” you referenced? You know you can’t just drop a phrase like that and expect us not to be curious. Whatever it was I hope it was something really great. And if it wasn’t then I hope you’re doing OK despite the unexpected drama.

    Comment by The Bold Soul — May 15, 2006 @ 7:33 pm

  33. Oh definitely do it. Just don’t go into it with the expectation of meeting ‘the one’ but instead do it as a way of building up your circle of useful single friends.

    I placed an ad in ‘Time Out’ once – met some fabulous men, was taken on some amazing dates (all expenses paid), had a few flings and ended up with some good friends who’d invite me to all sorts of great parties etc.

    And you never know. ‘The one’ might just turn up…

    Comment by Paola — May 15, 2006 @ 7:44 pm

  34. I’m abit reluctant to see you go in for this sad matchmaking. You’re not out of luck just yet I don’t think.
    In my experience anyhow the ones that are worth a date…ot two… will crop up unexpectedly, whatever. These forced situations on these datelines thingamyjigs are surely a waste of time in that respect.
    Non?…

    Comment by fjl — May 15, 2006 @ 7:53 pm

  35. great to read you again petite!

    Comment by Mélanie — May 15, 2006 @ 8:18 pm

  36. Well, it could go either way, couldn’t it? To add my positive/negative stories to the pot, I once had a really bad rag week blind date at uni with a pompous twat who used expressions like ‘Are you a child of Europe then?’ (reaction to me studying French and German) and ‘Let’s put a moratorium on this’ (reaction to my double date friend being late) within five mins of meeting him. But then I went on to meet a bloke via Internet who turned into a 6-month relationship… in all except that he would never sleep with me, or talk about why (hello, FREAK!!??!)

    Doesn’t the fact that the men have to pay and the women get in for free suggest that it’s gonna be a bit of a cattle market?

    Comment by Grande Anglaise — May 15, 2006 @ 8:22 pm

  37. That was precisely my point.

    Comment by petite — May 15, 2006 @ 8:44 pm

  38. I (male/ same age as you/ Paris) thought about it as well sometime back, but the jury ended up voting ‘Non’. Sometime after, a ‘coup de foudre’ struck me (met through a friend of a friend) one evening in St Germain. I must admit that I think Meetic is as good a means as any other, but none the less it still has some added value for a successful relationship to start beautifully (which meetic is not). Somewhere the future of a relationship is defined by its beginnings. Being receptive to love does help, and considering the write-in may already very well lead you into the arms the real candidate. Look around you to see if he’s not already in your entourage – the spring picnic on Pont des Arts/ by the Seine/ Champs de Mars season is only just starting, and tends to favour friends of friends coming out of hibernation.

    I also do think the number of psycho’s is higher despite the immense popularity of Meetic (I ended up not writing myself in because a female friend of mine was on there as the unscrupulous serial seducer you don’t want to meet…). Good luck deciding.

    Comment by Jt — May 15, 2006 @ 9:19 pm

  39. Food for thought, all of this. I think I’m more interested in just widening the net and meeting people, rather than expecting to find romance. In fact, I don’t think I want romance yet.

    Actually, I don’t have a clue what it is that I want. But I am quite happy at the moment, regardless.

    Comment by petite — May 15, 2006 @ 9:22 pm

  40. A friend of mine did the online date thing, and she said all the men lied about one thing or another. Mostly about their ages, some about their marital status and what-not. And one of them took her away for a weekend and packed a complete set of carving knives.

    Still, I’d go for it, if you’re in the moood.

    It’s really nice to have you back.

    Comment by Claire — May 15, 2006 @ 9:27 pm

  41. Carving knives? The Moood? You’ll put The Fear into my mum if you talk of such things here.

    I think I would lie. About Tadpole, initially. I mean, I don’t think it’s the first thing someone needs to know about me, and I wouldn’t want it to be either a turn off, or a reason for them being too keen, if you see what I mean.

    What a minefield. Maybe I’ll stick to hitting on random people in my comments box.

    Although I do like the idea of being “flashé”. It conjures up images of macs.

    Comment by petite — May 15, 2006 @ 9:32 pm

  42. Oh, women can sign up for free. I thought you said women were free. Still not fair.

    Comment by joeinvegas — May 15, 2006 @ 9:38 pm

  43. Glad you’re alright, and back on here after “walking on the edge of no escape and laughing ‘I’ve lost control again'”. Bloody psychotic choice of music you posted, btw.
    There is nothing “sad” or “pathetic” whatsoever about making use of modern technology in order to arrange dates or make friends, in my opinion. Perhaps in your case, “meetic” is not the right site for you as you have a few well-grounded reservations (the ‘guys pay/gals free’ bit DOES sound a bit like one of my favourite, sorry I mean one of the crappiest nightclubs I know). But I’m guessing there are many more such sites around. I’ve never used any kind of dating agency myself whether online or not, but I did meet an ex through chatting on a music forum back in ’98. For 3 months we chatted, then emailed then phoned, and it led to a relationship lasting almost a year.

    Comment by Tom Tyler — May 15, 2006 @ 9:59 pm

  44. burned, burned, burned. not a fan of meetic. losers, needy mama’s boys, and broken souls who’ll break your heart.

    Comment by maitresse — May 15, 2006 @ 10:20 pm

  45. Hi Petite,
    great to see you back! As somone who has done a year of online dating………I’d say think it through first. I met some nice guys, but a lot weren’t worth the new outfit and make up. Honestly, on some dates I was wishing to be home in my flannie pj’s sipping tea.

    So now I’ve sworn off internet dating – and I enjoy some nights at home sipping tea in my flannie pj’s.

    Comment by Kasey — May 15, 2006 @ 10:49 pm

  46. I think the trick is to just keep breathing, and wait for the magic to happen.

    Comment by andre — May 15, 2006 @ 11:02 pm

  47. Petite – so nice that you’re back! You were missed…
    About the e-dating thing, I did it for about a year and a half unsuccessfully. The question that comes to mind after reading this post: how would I have known after one or two dates that my date was a literary genius? Not that this is the only criteria I judge a “potential”, by any stretch, but just that with the sheer volume of dating going on now, people have even more motive to keep up an inaccurate facade, and for longer. I am sure it can be fun, though, just as long as one takes it all with a grain of sel, as has been suggested. Bon chance!

    Comment by eric — May 15, 2006 @ 11:13 pm

  48. Am I the only person not polite enough to admit that I am dying of curiosity to know where you have been? (I will of course try my hardest to respect your silence on the subject)
    I have started to learn an interesting lesson during your absence, you were my first blog so I’m very faithful to you, I don’t know you and you don’t know me but I have spent the past couple of weeks having random thoughts about you and your welfare, I even had to stop myself from starting this post with a motherly “where the hell have you been? I’ve been worried sick!”

    it’s an interesting thing this blog business…

    Comment by croque madame — May 15, 2006 @ 11:24 pm

  49. Why go on Meetic as I’m right here ?

    Comment by Yogi — May 15, 2006 @ 11:42 pm

  50. Okay, I’ve not tried the online dating thing or anything similar

    but

    here’s a thought.

    If you meet people online (& don’t post a picture) you get people who like you for things other than your looks. If you meet them in the flesh, your looks come into it. That must make some difference to the sort of people that you meet; but which avenue you prefer is, of course, up to you.

    Comment by Miss Nomer — May 16, 2006 @ 12:40 am

  51. WhatEVER – Meetic is just Gaydar for straight people – great if you’re just looking for a sh*g, distinctly more dodgy if you’re looking for anything more. As for myspace, don’t even think about it!! Remember, the whole point of these sites is to make money out of the fact that people are lonely. Hence there’s a lot of hype around them. I have two attractive smart female friends who signed up for Meetic with high hopes and stories of “yes, and so-and-so met someone and now they’re getting married” – and after many dates, they’re still waiting for Mr. Right. The only thing online dating does is give you the illusion that you’re in control. Sure, of course people DO meet online, but it’s all chance really. Not SO long ago i.e. months rather than years, a lovely man come up to in the street, told me I had a lovely smile, gave me a kiss and asked me out – and you know what a ropey old trout I am. That’s chance (or possibly poor eyesight) too. I say leave it to Kismet!

    Comment by rhino75 — May 16, 2006 @ 12:51 am

  52. Petite,
    I am willing to admit my strong desire to hear about what’s been happening…I think you suggested there would be a post about that concert and its attendees. But mostly I’m just glad to have you back to posting.

    Online dating is alright. There are ALWAYS some crazy guys out there, but I’ve met a few friends that way. It was a good experience overall.

    Comment by NicoleH — May 16, 2006 @ 12:55 am

  53. “What a minefield. Maybe I’ll stick to hitting on random people in my comments box.”

    Uh……you saw what happened the last time you did that……. Maybe you should try other bloggers comments boxes. You might have better luck. ;-)

    Comment by Dave of the Lake — May 16, 2006 @ 12:57 am

  54. Petite,
    When was the “first balmy evening of Spring” ???? I may have missed it since I have spent most of the weekends out of the country… or maybe you welcomed it by the Seine but some thousand kilometres away from Paris…

    Anyways, I am not surprised about your friend’s outcry and your wise advice. Of course that most of the people you can meet using such service are French weirdos. It is very funny that you refer to the stalker as the “gentleman, however gallant he might seem”… like if there was any French like that. Hehe.

    At least you have class, leave those mythics to the ugly Petite! You don’t need them!

    Uranus

    Comment by Uranus — May 16, 2006 @ 1:04 am

  55. Petite,
    Welcome back! I was a little worried about you.
    Regarding online dating: After years of saying “no way”, I turned 35 and finally tried both Match and eharmony (yep, simultaneously, between the two I was never without a decent date). After about six months of Nice-but-not-quite-right guys, I finally met my Match in January. My friends have met him and are in shock that someone so nice and so accomplished (world-class gentleman & a physician) could be found online. But he was, and he found me. We’ll be married by the end of the year. There is no way in hell I’d have met him except through online. Give it a try…

    Comment by sarai — May 16, 2006 @ 1:22 am

  56. I met a married couple that had met through match. They were actually featured on the site as one of their success stories. I tried it recently and met some really pretty, yet normal girls. Sadly, it wasn’t a love thing, but the people on their seemed pretty normal for the most part.

    The only thing to watch out for is the “kid in the candy store” syndrome. Namely, there are so many people on there that it becomes overwhelming and you stop talking to one person because you spotted someone else who is slightly better.

    But for someone who’s busy, it’s probably a good thing. You’d have to hit the bars for a month to “meet” as many people as you could in one night of searching that site. So I think it’s healthier on your liver.

    Comment by homeimprovementninja.blogspot.com — May 16, 2006 @ 1:30 am

  57. Gotta disagree with Andre’s “just keep breathing, and wait for the magic to happen” comment to an extent (although don’t take it personally Andre, I’m sure your views are more complex than as expressed in that one sentence, in fact I’ve bookmarked your blog after a quick but uber-entertaining read). In the words of Oasis, I’d say “you’ve gotta make it happen”. Although I note Petite’s own comment (#39) so the point is academic, in any case.
    What is not academic but firmly planted in the world of physical reality is that while I just typed that, I went (with my other hand) to take a sip of red wine and somehow managed to totally miss my mouth, thus necessitating the speedy removal of my shirt.

    Comment by Tom Tyler — May 16, 2006 @ 2:28 am

  58. My husband of six years was someone I met on match.com while I was working overseas…. I returned home, we dated, got married…. and so far so good. Where I live (the Bay Area) virtually everyone uses match.com, eharmony.com, etc. It’s got it’s own set of pros and cons, but for the most part, it seems to be working well for most people. I have 3 or 4 friends that met long term partners/husbands the same way. Why not try? If you don’t like it, delete the emails and move on to the next strategy!

    Comment by Shelley — May 16, 2006 @ 3:08 am

  59. It has pro’s and cons’, i know a few friends that have tried it here in Oz and loved it, like anything, i say if you’re thinking about it, it’s worth a try..
    It is weird that men have to pay and women don’t though- maybe find another one that’s more equal!

    Comment by Flav — May 16, 2006 @ 6:32 am

  60. Mee-Tique.
    Prefer love at 1st site.
    Tique too itchy, and difficult to get rid of.

    Comment by Nadim Berouti — May 16, 2006 @ 7:16 am

  61. Hello

    Comment by Trevor — May 16, 2006 @ 7:58 am

  62. my guest blogger, D has just signed up and got 300 flashes and over 1000 hits in the first two days. She literally has them lined up to go out with. Mind you, I have had a look at some of the profiles…I think that some people might be taking this a little bit too seriously.
    Nice to have you back.
    :)

    Comment by anne — May 16, 2006 @ 8:30 am

  63. being a user of meetic, the first encounters are often complete fiascos, due to the fact that you are not very good at sorting out ads and really understanding their ads…
    And really,there are the most pathetic people out there, you can’t imagine.
    But once you got it, it’s good fun, and you meet some fun people !

    Comment by schuey — May 16, 2006 @ 8:53 am

  64. oh and maitresse : “losers, needy mama’s boys, and broken souls who’ll break your heart.”

    Do we know each other ? :D

    Comment by schuey — May 16, 2006 @ 8:56 am

  65. Okay, time for me to add my two cents and give yet another perspective on things.

    I never used online dating, but my boyfriend of now +3 years (colleague of an ex) did. After being single for 3 years and being fine with it, he finally gave in to the pressure from well-meaning friends, who thought that was just NOT possible – so he signed up. And just as quickly dropped out because, in his own words, HE had the impression of being some sort of “prize money” for desperate thirtysomethings. Something along the line of “good job? check. good manners? check. good looks? check – Soooo, shall we name the date?”

    So you see, the cattle market goes both ways.

    BTW, petite, tis good to have you back. As someone said before, you’re my first blog! Take care.

    Comment by V. — May 16, 2006 @ 9:13 am

  66. Moving on from the do I?/ don’t I? question – surely the bigger question is:

    “If I do, am I brave enough to admit to people that I met my date through an online cattle market?”

    Add to that the trauma of deciding what to put as a profile. Attractive but not cheap, fun but not in-your-face. Difficult balance that one.

    Rather you than me!

    Une Fille

    p.s. nice to see you back.

    Comment by Une Fille — May 16, 2006 @ 9:39 am

  67. Hold on a second Petite Anglaise, before you go any further! I just re-read your post. Was that why you didn’t want me to walk you back? Well saddle me sideways! Playing things by the rules, were we?
    I JUST HAPPENED TO BE GOING HOME IN THE SAME DIRECTION!!

    Comment by Trevor — May 16, 2006 @ 9:50 am

  68. C’est un bonheur de vous relire, et de retrouver du coup l’humour de Trevor et les commentaires à côté de la plaque d’Uranus !

    Comment by Laurence — May 16, 2006 @ 10:02 am

  69. Glad to see you’re back.

    Online dating services, blogs, chatrooms, bars, pubs, a friend of a friend of a friend, blind dates, office mate, classmate, teammate, personal ad, neighbour…you can find romance anywhere. And creeps. And your new best friend.

    Go for it, if you want, but don’t date the guy with the carving knives.

    Comment by dongurigal — May 16, 2006 @ 10:06 am

  70. Now, now, Trevor, don’t get paranoid.

    I really was going to see Flighty, who lives in the opposite direction, she can vouch for that.

    It wasn’t an elaborate exit strategy.

    Comment by petite — May 16, 2006 @ 10:44 am

  71. My cynically romantic stepson met a sublime young woman on Meetic. They conversed on msn for quite a long time before they actually met. He was already convinced she was right for him and then when he actually saw her in the flesh, she looked even better than he’d imagined.
    The whirlwind romance eventually fizzled out after a couple of heady months.
    So where the hell have you been and what’s all this ‘violent lost control soundtrack of my life’ stuff?

    Comment by Parkin Pig — May 16, 2006 @ 11:16 am

  72. I think it’s clear Parkin Pig – meeting Trevor is enough to give anyone the willies. Or indeed the heebie jeebies.

    Comment by Hmmm — May 16, 2006 @ 11:38 am

  73. I chose my outfit, my undergarments with care…

    Comment by Trevor — May 16, 2006 @ 12:39 pm

  74. Did I miss a post on trevor?? You met him, and didn’t share it (or a picture, wink, wink*)?
    I met the love of my life (it’s true, I swear, 34 and I’m finally in love) on a dating website, well I wasn’t there for dating at all (serious again) I wanted a male best friend, just a penpal. And we became closer than I ever was with anyone, cerebraly that is…Then we met 3 months later!! That was almost 2 years ago! I cannot tell you how lucky I am to have him.

    It can be done petite, what is to be, is to be! Just go with the flow, do what feels right!:)

    Comment by kim — May 16, 2006 @ 2:27 pm

  75. Actually I take it back. Go on Meetic and tell us all about it, that way, Trevor will also subscribe, meet other women and- dare we hope- calm down somewhat……… ;-)

    Comment by fjl — May 16, 2006 @ 3:04 pm

  76. Trevor – how long does it take to decide between a black or a red thong? Or was the underwear choice thong vs. commando?

    Comment by Hmmm — May 16, 2006 @ 3:14 pm

  77. Okay, this is making me crazy. Who the heck is Trevor? And no tongue-in-cheek please…can someone seriously explain who the heck he is?

    Is he the chain smoking guy from Petite’s vacay? Whoever he is, his posts are hilarious.

    Comment by Medina — May 16, 2006 @ 4:24 pm

  78. Seeing as how you found love via an exchange of emails before, I can’t imagine how internet dating would be much different. You put a profile, they read it, they email, you email back. Sounds a bit familiar to me…

    I tried it very briefly once several years ago, and even without a picture to lure them in, I got responses from several lovely men. But I wasn’t in a position for much in the way of dating at the time, so nothing really came out of it. Still, I have several friends who have found happy matches through these services, and I would certainly never say never for trying it again. Give it a go. You might enjoy what you find.

    And if not, just take your profile down and let it be. My recommendation, though — set up a free email account for yourself simply for these sites, because if you do decide to throw in the towel, you can just stop checking that address and be done with it. Otherwise, they’ll continue flooding for inbox for a while. :)

    Comment by 21st Century Woman — May 16, 2006 @ 5:06 pm

  79. The problem I found with online dating: when you are a good writer you attract other good writers — who may not be nearly so dynamic and wonderful in person as they are in writing. And if have an over-active imagination you tend to construct a very solid fantasy structure around someone you don’t actually know, and to whom you may have absolutely no attraction in the physical flesh. Nothing beats meeting someone in person and the instinctive reaction (to stay or to run) that allows.

    Comment by Nina — May 16, 2006 @ 5:09 pm

  80. I ended up meeting my current boyfriend online. However, it was through a network of common interests and dating wasn’t really thought of as an option until we knew one another for a few years online. I didn’t exactly plan on dating this person ever, since there were some glaring differences (he was looking for an athletic redhead into sports, and I am a chunky brunette into embroidery) in what we were looking for.

    We met in person at a gathering of other people with bad musical taste and met up a second time four years later. Against all logic, it’s working out.

    Comment by DrinkingTea — May 16, 2006 @ 7:15 pm

  81. Glad you’re back petite, but come on, we all want to know what’s been happening. Especially with Trevor….

    Comment by suze — May 16, 2006 @ 7:41 pm

  82. Petite,
    hors sujet – where do you aquire all the books you read? do you buy them from amazon or have some kind of deal going on?
    also, if you haven’t already read it, do try “shadow of the wind” and tell me what you think of the Jonathon strange one…Cheers m’dear

    Comment by croque madame — May 16, 2006 @ 8:25 pm

  83. Makes me uneasy, the idea you might think you have to lie about Tadpole. I never heard of anyone telling that particular fib. At what point exactly would you slip her into the conversation?

    The carving knives guy was called David, apparently.

    Comment by Claire — May 16, 2006 @ 8:39 pm

  84. A friend of mine who was desperate to settle down/get married/have kids etc signed up with meetic a couple of years ago.

    She said she treated it like a job, was very organised, met about 50 guys over a few months and was even having 2 dates a day sometimes: lunch and dinner or drinks and dinner. She was determined.

    Anyway, she finally met The One about 18 months ago. He’s a plastic surgeon and they are expecting a baby in September. (Not married yet though).

    I think she met a few weird and wonderful characters along the way but no out and out psychos.

    Comment by kjr — May 16, 2006 @ 9:17 pm

  85. Look I don’t want to be picky but isn’t meeting someone in the comment section of your own blog similar to meeting someone via something like mythique?

    Comment by SimonInBrussels — May 16, 2006 @ 11:03 pm

  86. Meatic is much scarier. Lordy, I think I’m going to have to pull the profile as it’s proving to be terrifying. People flashing at me all day long. Most of whom ressemble David Brent.

    Ew.

    Comment by petite — May 16, 2006 @ 11:11 pm

  87. Somehow, for me, nothing can beat meeting face to face, feeling the current pass and truly understanding what love at first sight means.

    Comment by Lost in France — May 16, 2006 @ 11:31 pm

  88. I’ve been on Meetic for a while. I’ve chatted with a few people, but no real luck for me. I hate to think it, but I believe it’s because I’m a black woman. I haven’t seen any other black women on the site :(

    Comment by buzzgirl — May 17, 2006 @ 12:04 am

  89. Ciao Petite. (Ciao all.)
    Re online romance, like most I have known several friends who have had shockers. However, also like most, I can name one friend who found his true love online.
    Is “true love” hyperbole? In this case I would say not, she flew across the world to save his life and they now live in marital bliss with two children.
    All things can come to us, both good and bad. Be preprared for both, and never give up hope. Without hope, why live?
    P.S. – Glad to have you back and posting Petite. Take care.

    Comment by Scott Free — May 17, 2006 @ 12:33 am

  90. I guess you should lie about your blog rather than about Tadpole.
    For a would-be lover, this place might be more frightening than a young child.

    Comment by Yogi — May 17, 2006 @ 12:51 am

  91. Buzzgirl: I find that hard to believe, being that it’s France and all. I spent some time out there off and on, and there it was like I was the flavor of the month! More men approached me in France than in the States…I suppose they view us as exotic and such. I mean whatev.

    Maybe it’s because you’re all the way on the west coast in the States…?

    And for CRYING OUT LOUD, who the heck is TREVOR?! Arrrghhh…the secrecy is KILLING me!! Very unlike you Petite! :(

    Comment by Dina — May 17, 2006 @ 1:41 am

  92. It might be worth a try. I met my husband online, it brought me to Italy and I have never been happier in my life. Just be a bit careful and always follow your gut. There are some strange people out there, but there are also some great ones as well.

    Best wishes,
    Cyn

    Comment by Cyn — May 17, 2006 @ 10:48 am

  93. Call me old fashioned, but I’m scared stiff of that kind of site. Reckon I wouldn’t know what to say to a complete stranger about whom I know nothing, and would end up being boring and clichéd…
    Beyond that with a few sensible precautions I reckon it’s safe enough, at least as safe as going to a club and meeting someone there.

    Comment by Greenmantle — May 17, 2006 @ 7:51 pm

  94. Are there any more weirdos on Meetic than in any other human community ? As in this blog readership for example ? Go ahead everyone, count the number of comments you find stupid, uninteresting, or overwhelmingly self-concerned … Not sure the figures will be much different.

    Of course, there are also truly amazing people right here …

    Comment by Yogi — May 17, 2006 @ 10:03 pm

  95. I think that there’s something inherently wrong about the idea of saying “I must have someone in my life now!”, whether it be through online agencies, speed dating, etc.
    Also, the danger of online dating, although it can work fine, is that you may be laying yourself open to all sorts of situations which are out of your control.
    Just my 2 cents.

    Comment by Bobbles — May 18, 2006 @ 10:35 am

  96. I agree. But I don’t think there is anything wrong with trying to make new friends and to remain open to new possibilities. I am meeting a lot of random, interesting people through the blog at the moment, for example, mostly female, and I just thought it would be nice to meet some guys too.

    Comment by petite — May 18, 2006 @ 10:45 am

  97. Petite, you arent the only one thinking about it. I hesistate, but it probably would be a good thing to do and put myself back out there.

    Ill do it if you do it :)

    Comment by stinkerbell — May 18, 2006 @ 2:43 pm

  98. Salut ! Française, du Mans (tu dois connaître, c´est pas très loin de Paris…), je fais actuellement mes études à Valence en espagne, je suis en train de créer un site sur mon séjour là bas, tu peux aller le voir : http://www.valenciaestademoda.com
    besos à ta fille qui doit être trop mimi (en rapport au dromadaire !!! lol)

    Comment by Marina — May 19, 2006 @ 9:13 am

  99. I swore off online dating. Here’s a link to a post on my blog about my adventures.

    http://developmentofcharacter.blogspot.com/2005/10/im-still-standing_28.html

    Nice to have you back.

    Comment by Melanie — May 23, 2006 @ 5:07 pm


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