Censorship is a terrible thing. Especially when it is self inflicted.
The subject which is preying on my mind, to the exclusion of all else, is the fraught atmosphere at work. However, I’ve come to the conclusion that I need to exercise caution about what I say.
If I won’t allow myself to write about work, then I find myself rather lost for words. Which is why I have been a little quieter this week.
But, in honour of my birthday, how about a quiz?
Which of the following statements are not true ?
a) I can speak some German, especially if you want to hold a conversation about bowel movements;
b) I have read every “Nancy Drew” detective story ever written;
c) The worst punishment I can remember as a child was not being allowed to watch “The Famous Five” on TV;
d) I own a signed Then Jericho album;
e) I hate aniseed and liquorice. And sprouts;
f) The only time I ever felt the slightest inclination to watch porn was when I was pregnant;
g) My favourite teddy bear as a child was a Peter Rabbit, made by my great grandma’s next door neighbour;
h) The sampler I made at school when I was 9 featured a BBC micro computer in cross stitch;
i) My porn star name is Pixie Eden;
j) The only time I ever trod the boards was as a Penguin in a school play at Clipstone Brook Lower School, Leighton Buzzard;
k) My favourite boss to date was a one-armed racing driver.
e) is incorrect. I do hate aniseed and liquorice, however I like (brussels) sprouts.
Clarification: porn star name. This does not mean that I have a second career as an “actress”. Of the many methods used for calculating your “porn star name”, I have used the formula first pet’s name + mother’s maiden name here. Surfing on the web, I found name generators, along with a delightful quiz in which you are asked to guess which of a list of names belongs to a porn star, and which to a My Little Pony. Surprisingly difficult.