petite anglaise

Her telephone manner leaves something to be desired.

Tadpole: “Allô? Allô? Allô Allô!”

*beepy sound of buttons being pressed on keypad*

*dial tone*

Okay. That. Didn’t. Work.

The phone rings again.

“Allô? C’est daddy!”

(Tadpole has a habit of talking about what she can see when on the telephone, which can be somewhat confusing for the listener, who doesn’t have a clue why she is saying “car! book! teddy!” in response to “how are you baby?”)

“Hello sweetie, are you with your daddy?”

“Mummy” (or mamie, but I choose to hear “mummy”)

“Yes darling it’s your mummy. Did you have a nice time with daddy on the train?”

“Daddy… mummy”

“Can you hear mummy giving you a kiss? Listen …” *smacky kiss noise*

“Kiss!” *smacky kiss noise* “dabulakibaba lima pussy cat”

“…? Er, can I speak to daddy now? Say bye bye to mummy?”

“NO! Pas daddy!”

*beepy sound of dialing on keypad*

*dial tone*

I give up. Clearly this is one long distance love affair that cannot be conducted by telephone.