A text message arrives from the babysitter in response to my grovelling apology for not having been in touch since December 2004. It is written in barely comprehensible teenage misspellt abbreviated stroppy French texto language. And all in shouty caps.
“JE ME SUIS BEAUCOUP INKIETÉ PASKE VS M AVÉ PA DONE 2 NOUVELES DEPUI LONGTEMP C PA TRÉ SIMPA KAN MEME JPENSé KE J AVÉ FÉ KELKE CHOSE BREF C OK PR SAM C KEL HEU”
High maintenance doesn’t even begin to cover it. I think I’d rather stay in than nurse her wounded little ego back to health via a series of 10 word text messages.
And all because the lady probably has her sights set on a new handbag and we haven’t been providing her with the means to purchase it…
about
books
press
fbk
petite anglaise 
If you need accented caps, here they are. Copy them in a file :)
ÉÀÔÛÙÏ
Comment by Remi Prevost — February 13, 2005 @ 10:53 pm
Shut your eyes, click the heels of your ruby slippers and whisper :
I’m SOOOO glad mine’s grown…
I’m SOOOO glad mine’s grown…
I’m SOOOO glad mine’s grown…
Comment by Mathieu — February 14, 2005 @ 12:26 am
I’ve only had so-so luck, as you well know, using a translation program to understand some of the things written in your blog. The girl’s text message takes the cake. It didn’t make any more sense after translated than it did before. :roll:
Comment by Bob — February 14, 2005 @ 12:34 am
here you go:
“I was worried because Ihadn;t heard from you for a while. It is not very nice: I even started thinking I had done something wrong. Anyway, Saturday is ok: what time?”
That covers the meaning, the spelling I couldn’t translate.
Comment by Blaise — February 14, 2005 @ 1:32 am
And I thought SMS in English were difficult to understand! I couldn’t decipher half of that until Blaise came to our rescue!
Comment by milchfrommler — February 14, 2005 @ 2:45 am
yeah, see, i can’t read the crap that my 14 year old ‘little sister’ (big brothers big sisters) writes to me in email because it’s all in some strange code. i think i got 4 words of this particular code…
Comment by mainja — February 14, 2005 @ 4:09 am
I didn’t know the French bastardized their own language just like anglophones. I suppose it might have been expected, though. C’est dommage.
Comment by Karen — February 14, 2005 @ 6:11 am
ugh. don’t even get me started about how much I despise such SMS shortcuts. I am probably the only person that actually uses fully-spelled words and puncutation in SMSes, but I simply cannot bring myself to write “KES KE C” or “MDR”. especially MDR.
I think I am officially old and uncool.
Comment by kim — February 14, 2005 @ 8:50 am
I’ve tried to use SMS shortcuts in French, but the time it takes me to work them out and type them is usually longer than the time it takes to type the full word!
Mort de rire… ;-)
Comment by Iain — February 14, 2005 @ 9:50 am
Iain, don’t make me turn this computer monitor around!
(I wonder if that the “don’t make me turn this car around” threat works for all cultures, or is just some weird american thing)
Comment by kim — February 14, 2005 @ 10:06 am
What is much more incredible than the spelling is the tone!! As an ex teenage babysitter (although I did not do it to buy Dior handbags) I actually showed some RESPECT for my clients, and was GRATEFUL that they would ask me to do the work, even if once every blue moon, as the competition was tough (and at the time, the rates were 30francs per hour, I bet that is cheap nowadays!). If I were you I would keep the deal this saturday, but tell the snotty little tart that you would hate to disappoint her expectations in terms of the frequency at which you would need her and for that reason might look for another babysitter, unless she would of course not see any probs with working for you a little less often. Et toc!
Comment by Zebulette — February 14, 2005 @ 10:19 am
Not bad Zebulette. Instead I totally wimped out and said I was sorry for not having been in touch…
But I now have the phone number of an English babysitter living nearby.
*sigh of relief*
Comment by petite — February 14, 2005 @ 10:43 am
Kim – you’re not the only person who uses full words. I cannot bring myself to use shortcuts either
With predictive texting, you can knock out a message in a few seconds anyway…
Comment by witho — February 14, 2005 @ 12:01 pm
Petite, you seem a really kind employer, I could ditch the bring job here, and move to Paris to be tadpole’s au pair… what do you think? and I only buy H&M and affiliated…
Comment by Mimile — February 14, 2005 @ 12:52 pm
I can’t tell you how much your post made me laugh today! C’est trop marrant!
Comment by Jezebel — February 14, 2005 @ 12:53 pm
Normally I don’t take great pride in speaking French around my father (my father who failed to speak French to me as a child, yet corrects my errors constantly now that I’ve TAUGHT MYSELF, THANK YOU VERY MUCH).
The one area that I can really show off though is in understanding text messages. Being that he moved to the US in 1975. He borrowed my cell phone for a few days when he visited last summer and was HOPELESS. Ha ha.
Comment by Coquette — February 14, 2005 @ 1:16 pm
I wonder if it’s possible to deliver a smack in the gob via sms.
Comment by vitriolica — February 14, 2005 @ 3:01 pm
How terrible to see that it isn’t only English that is being butchered by SMS. Do you recall the essay (http://www.ananova.com/news/story/sm_756462.html) that was submitted in text speak in England? Gah!
Comment by Kelly — February 14, 2005 @ 7:54 pm
Thanks, Blais. I appreciate the translation!
I’d stay home before I’d pay that kid another euro. The fact that she feels entitled to complain to you like that is so tacky and disrespectful.
Comment by Bob — February 15, 2005 @ 1:07 am
If someone is interested in a decryption… here it is:
(I use brackets for implicit words)
“Je me suis beaucoup inquiétée parce que vous (ne) m’avez pas donné de nouvelles depuis longtemps. C’est pas très sympa quand même! Je pensais que j’avais fait quelque chose (de mal). Bref, c’est OK pour samedi. C’est (à ) quelle heure?”
Comment by noliv — February 15, 2005 @ 2:28 pm
As with any threat to the language of Molière (koi keskia tum croa pa?), a defence committee has been set up.
koi29 sous le soleil …
Comment by Ria — February 15, 2005 @ 4:57 pm
Oops.
HTML typo :oops:
Defence committee
Comment by Ria — February 15, 2005 @ 5:00 pm
Okay, that text message? Is scary.
I was able to read most of it, although I have forgotten most of my French after high school. I still think it’s scary.
Comment by Jamie — February 16, 2005 @ 7:28 pm