petite anglaise

September 19, 2004

flying low

Filed under: misc — bipolarinparis @ 1:01 am

There I was reading in the metro on my way home last night, minding my own business and just glancing up occasionally to peer through the carriage window and check I hadn’t missed my stop (which I have been known to do when immersed in a good book).

As I glanced up at one station, craning my neck to see the sign which was way off to my right, I noticed the middle-aged man sitting opposite was grinning inanely. One of his shirt buttons appeared to be undone, and out of the corner of my eye I could see a bit of flesh sticking out of the gap…

Except it wasn’t his shirt that was undone. And not only was he grinning, but also pointing southwards with his fingers.

What is one to do in such situations? I pretended not to have noticed, buried my face in my book, counted the metro stations in my head and then fled without a backward glance.

Dear blog fairy, I have plenty of material. Please don’t put me in awkward situations like that just so I can write about them. Honestly, I can manage without you…

11 Comments

  1. Hi. Not being a woman, I’ve never been flashed at. Which is a shame, as I’m convinced I’d burst out laughing and really upset the guy.

    Must be quite fun being a flasher though. No expensive meals out or flowers for your beloved… Just a simple metro ticket giving hours of sexual ecstasy! (Sadly it’s never appealed to me, though.)

    Comment by peter — September 23, 2004 @ 11:03 am

  2. I’m amazed that this hasn’t happened to you before this. How long have you been using the Metro? It used to be a regular occurrence on the London Underground for me. Making comments such as:”Put it away,dear, before it dies off completely” used to make me feel better. Of course, if you have a large pair of dressmaker’s scissors in your bag, simply produce them silently. The reaction *that* provokes is highly gratifying……

    Comment by Ruth — September 23, 2004 @ 11:07 am

  3. Oh yuck

    Sorry this happened. The bastard.

    Wishing you safer metro trips!

    Comment by Hippie — September 23, 2004 @ 11:08 am

  4. In Los Angeles I had a guy rub his bulging crotch against me while riding on a crowded city bus. A guy also jacked off in a laundromat in front of my sister and I. We very quietly walked away.
    I guess it’s a big city thing. . .In small towns they are probably too afraid of being recognized and reported!

    Comment by Emily — September 23, 2004 @ 11:08 am

  5. Germaine Greer recommends laughing out loud…

    Comment by cal — September 23, 2004 @ 11:08 am

  6. I would’ve turned a deep hue of purple and burst out laughing…. ‘course I did that at my own wedding so I guess you could say it’s a nervous reflex. At least you were able to keep cool!

    Comment by ViVi — September 23, 2004 @ 11:09 am

  7. This is a natural lead-on from the kinky baguettes isn’t it? Pity you didn’t have a knife in your bag…

    Comment by Claypot — September 23, 2004 @ 11:09 am

  8. Wow …
    being a guy these things don’t happen to me. You sounded very calm about it.
    Living in the sleepy south of France near Toulouse in a village where everyone knows everyone these things don’t seem to happen.
    In fact, the big event in our village was 3 years ago now, when somebody set fire to a plastic waste bin. We had a photo in the village newspaper of a melted bin !
    Keep smilin’ and don’t forget the scissors in the bag in case he re-appears.
    Cheers!

    Comment by Hairy — September 23, 2004 @ 11:10 am

  9. Scary–and nasty!

    Comment by cass — September 23, 2004 @ 11:10 am

  10. Eww! In Frankfurt Germany I just get the loud, talking to themselves, homeless reeking drunks. Fun. (btw, I’ve been known to go a couple of stops past my station too because I was reading – heh).

    Comment by anna — September 23, 2004 @ 11:11 am

  11. I would have said as loudly as possible “Regardez messieurs-dames! Le gentil monsieur assis la bas nous montre tous son petit zizi!!”(or ” sa petite bite”, if you prefer to be obscene). It is also important to point at the man in question. They need to be humiliated.
    When some creep started touching me up on the metro a while back I used the same tactic- I grabbed the wandering hand, held it high in the air and asked who it belonged to as I had just found it on my arse. I had had enough of pretending not to notice and the horrified offender got off at the next stop. Ha!:twisted:

    Comment by Suziboo — October 13, 2004 @ 2:18 pm


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