petite anglaise

August 5, 2004

whistle blower

Filed under: city of light, french touch — bipolarinparis @ 2:16 pm

My local park temporarily belongs to the axis of evil in the summertime. Parisians tend to live in miniscule shoeboxes with plastic red geraniums on the windowsill instead of gardens, so the park is a back yard I share with a few thousand neighbours, plus some tourists thrown in for good measure. Finding a patch of grass to sit on is almost as challenging as spreading your towel on a Côte d’Azur beach.

So, picture the scene: after half an hour of pushing a grizzly toddler around while searching for a some unoccupied territory, I finally find a shady spot, take a (medicinal) swig from my hipflask, unstrap toddler, unpack toys…

…and as if by magic, the shopkeeper park warden appears, whistle blowing angrily. He stands over me, hands on hips, brimming with self-importance, giving me plenty of time to admire his carefully ironed uniform, should I wish to.

“Can’t you read, Madame? This grass is out of bounds! It’s au repos.”

I couldn’t help but wonder: when he was a little boy, did he daydream about becoming a defender of the nation’s lawns? Did he fantasise about owning that uniform?

I’m familiar with the concept of a sports car, a throbbing motorcycle or an electric guitar as an extension of manhood. But a whistle?

comments:

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Pfff I met one of those, you either hate them or feel sorry for them. I don’t know which is worse.
TheGreenPlant | Email | Homepage | 08.05.04 – 5:59 pm | #

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i know what you mean. One of these days I’m gonna push one of them in the lake to help them cool off.

I’ll have to remember not to wear my flip-flops that day so that i can make a quick get-away

PA, perhaps your park warden is a raver extraordinaire, who needs a job where he can wield a whistle during the day as well as blowing his whistle and waving glo-sticks all night in da club. Perhaps not
jen | Email | Homepage | 08.05.04 – 9:34 pm | #

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You should’ve said: “Oui, je sais. Je REPOSerai ici.”

Or, as French teens like to say in situations like these: “Flics a mort!”
Nigel M. | Email | Homepage | 08.05.04 – 10:31 pm | #

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poor english girl.. should go to the luxembourg garden..
Negrito | Email | Homepage | 08.08.04 – 5:17 pm | #

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