I have been puzzling recently over the best way to describe the situation in which I find myself at work. The French have a phrase which fits perfectly – “harcèlement moral” – but the naming of this phenomenon is relatively recent and I could find no translation in my university French/English dictionary.
Yesterday afternoon saw me in floods of tears, curled up in a foetal position in our work kitchen. After being the focus of a barrage of insulting remarks throughout the morning, for which I could find no rational explanation or justification, it was a phone call from departing boss which was the final straw.
“Well, I won’t list all the ways in which you could have been more helpful this morning…” was the stinging rebuke. Given that I had done everything in my power to be just that, the remark really stung. I was speechless.
By the time he called back however, the hurt had turned to anger and I was ready to riposte. “Perhaps you could list the things I ought to have done to be more helpful this morning, I’d be very interested to hear what they are.”
The explanation, when it came, was so preposterous that I will probably laugh about it, one day. One of the accusations levelled at me, in all seriousness, was that I had had the gall to offer him a slice of someone’s birthday chocolate cake when he hadn’t yet had a cup of coffee.
I must remember to add coffee and tea making to my job description when I next have an appraisal form to fill in.
Some of his other criticisms were more sweeping statements. I “operate in a vaccuum”. I “don’t talk to him enough”. I fail to see how it falls to me and me only to initiate contact with him and wonder if a word like “enough” can be quantified, for the avoidance of doubt. More importantly though, I feel that his reproaches make it sound more like we are in a personal relationship than an empoyer/employee situation, and that is wrong on so many levels.
The insults continued to fly until I finally cracked, and told him, in a wobbly voice, that I needed to excuse myself to go to the bathroom, and was there anything he required before I put the phone down?
Leaving the office that evening, I felt sure that the only way out of the situation was to resign – even if, financially, it is the last thing I want or need to do right now – and made a mental note to dig out a copy of my CV.
Today, however, I woke up seeing things in a very different light.
Somewhat peversely, the instant I decided to label what is happening to me “workplace bullying”, I started to feel much better.
I called the HR director in London for a chat, in confidence. I explained my situation: both that I had a problem, which I was trying to deal with in my own way, but that I felt there was no-one to turn to in this office who doesn’t report directly to my boss. She was supportive, and said I had done the right thing in talking to her, and suggested I keep a record of significant events going forward. We decided that the chat which my boss is proposing, to “clear the air” before he leaves on holiday next week (which, interestingly, he wished to hold outside the office), should definitely take place in the office, preferably with a neutral third party sitting in.
I will not be beaten by a bully.
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I’ve never written any comments here, but I’d just like to remind you that the “harcelement moral” is severely punished in France.
If your boss tries to fire you, keeping a log of such events will be helpful in the “Prud’Hommes”, which the court dealing with work-related disputes (and where you should probably be able to easily defend your case and win back your job/win a hefty sum in compensation) and also in the “Tribunal correctionnel”, which would deal with the penal part of the bullying (where your boss might end up in jail (suspended or not) and with very high fines)
Comment by flo-_ — July 20, 2005 @ 1:15 pm
Remember, a bully will always back down when attacked. Time to push him back.
Good luck,
G
Comment by Germain — July 20, 2005 @ 1:21 pm
I came here to give you the same information that “flo-” gave you. Workers are VERY well protected here in France. Keep track of everything, AND go to the “Tribunal correctionnel” now. They can give information and help while you are still employed. Good Luck.
Comment by Alisa — July 20, 2005 @ 1:40 pm
I know you said you don’t want advice on here, but somehow it’s what springs to mind on reading this. I would get out if I were you. I’ve worked as a personal assistant before, and seen my boss turn from a reasonable human being to an asshole almost overnight. I left. Who needs that? The comments about worker’s rights may be true, but in all honesty, would you want the time and expense of a tribunal, to win a job back, working for a guy who’s an idiot in the first place? I have also worked somewhere where my boss decided I was no longer needed, and made up a bunch of complaints about me. The list was SO ludicrous that my friends and I were howling with laughter (I’m still giggling at your boss’s indignation over the cake/coffee thing. I mean WTF?). There is always somewhere better out there, it’s just a question of finding it. You’re obviously a very bright and talented woman, so you would be snapped up. I’m not normally one for ‘inspirational writing’ but I do love Don Miguel Ruiz’s Codes, which include: “Don’t take anything personally – Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won’t be the victim of needless suffering.” [Most recently read as I was stinging from a nasty email from a friend - I send him an e-card for his birthday, and his reply was to yell that I was sending him spam. Nice.]
Comment by Claypot — July 20, 2005 @ 1:53 pm
Sounds to me like the relationship is personal, at least for your boss. Didn’t he hint that there was trouble with his own partner/wife whatever? Now he’s seeking consolation with you and getting rebuffed.
He is totally out of order and so the last thing you should do is resign. If anybody is leaving it’s him.
Aren’t you perfectly capable of doing his job when he’s ousted?
Comment by Parkin Pig — July 20, 2005 @ 1:54 pm
Hi, my first time to comment here too.
You did the right thing by reporting the situation, bullies in the workplace are all too common, instead of quitting we need to fight them off.
Try to have witnesses to the comments made, keep all incriminating emails / prints. The prud’hommes system works extremely well here in France : take advantage of it. You can get counsel from them too before you decide to engage in any course of action.
And note, you do not need to engage any kind of action, you just need to be respected at your work place. Sounds to me like your boss has a crush on you and is feeling outed!! Good thing he is leaving soon.
I agree with previous comment : you are not the one who has to leave, he is. Keep reporting the abuse. And don’t EVER buy into it. “Power” gets to people’s heads sometimes!!
Comment by Fannie — July 20, 2005 @ 2:05 pm
The meeting should most definately be IN the office with someone else present or/and you record it!!! Fight back and stand your ground, bullies hate it when you fight back as they loose the high ground. good luck.
Comment by p denny — July 20, 2005 @ 2:14 pm
Personally, I think you should kick him where it counts… ;)
It was a wise decision on your part to contact his supervisor, though, so Bravo for that.
On another note… can’t the Lover beat him up for you? :)
Comment by theinsider — July 20, 2005 @ 2:25 pm
Feel free to email me if you want some CV help, I used to train people on CV writing.
Good luck sorting out your situation, sounds horrible!
Comment by Anne — July 20, 2005 @ 2:27 pm
Try and avoid telephone conversations or meetings, e-mail is much better as there’s proof for later on. It’s an awful way of thinking but it looks like you’re heading for a showdown there. Oh and definitely no meetings outside the office…
Comment by May — July 20, 2005 @ 2:36 pm
May’s right – but if you do end up having phone/face-to-face discussions, you can always put them into email form later on, with some rationale like ‘just wanted to make sure I understand the points you were making, this is what I think they are, please let me know if I’ve misunderstood’.
There are quite a few resources on the web – try http://www.jfo.org.uk/.
Best of luck!
Comment by Zinnia Cyclamen — July 20, 2005 @ 2:55 pm
I’ve been in a similar situation with a boss who bullied. (un)Fortunately he did it to everyone in the office. He got his comeupance and no longer works there, but it took careful record keeping of each and every instance to force the company to do something about it. Make sure you keep good notes!
Comment by Alan — July 20, 2005 @ 2:56 pm
I’ve been lucky enough to have been bullied in a job though I went through a lot of it at school so I can (partially) imagine how you are feeling. Don’t take it lying down and stand up for yourself. Can’t really say anymore than that but it was good that you told someone about it. Good luck and I hoep that this situation resolves itself quickly and painlessly. :o)
Comment by moomin — July 20, 2005 @ 3:24 pm
obviouisly that should read, not to have been bullied in a job. Should learn to proof read things before i post. lol
Comment by moomin — July 20, 2005 @ 3:26 pm
while I sympathise with your plight, having had my share of lousy bosses, I have to say that writing about it on the web is probably not the smartest move.
Comment by mara — July 20, 2005 @ 3:29 pm
There’s a nice job going in the UK Delegation to the OECD, if you’re interested!!
Let me know your address and I can mail you the details…
Comment by Lauren — July 20, 2005 @ 3:32 pm
Maybe it’s time to change career. Why not retrain as a translator? I seem to remember you thought about going down that road at some point. Your French must be near-native after all these years living in France and your written English is, well, I won’t pile up the compliments as you get so many all the time on this subject, let’s just say it is more than adequate. I’m not sure how you’d go about it in France, but I’m sure you’ll easily get professional advice on the matter…
Comment by céline — July 20, 2005 @ 3:36 pm
When it works out, relations between assitant and ‘assisted’ is more of a personal relation than a strictly work one. Sorry if he shows you bad sides of his personality. I guess he does that just to make you leave. Don’t.
Exagere la situation, tournes le en ridicule. Accroche toi. A force, ca lui passera. En démissionnant, tu lui donnerais raison. Keep up the good work !
Comment by FeeBee — July 20, 2005 @ 3:37 pm
Petite, I am disgusted and appalled by the behaviour of your boss. How typical of a male to make proprietorial assumptions. I am glad he has not developed wandering hands syndrome or commented on your appearance (typical manifestations of sexual harrassment). I loathe men who abuse their power in any of those ways, particularly that they should escape with impunity. It also makes my blood boil that such individuals can rise through the ranks – shit floats, I suppose – in the first place. The chocolate cake and mug of coffee complaint beggared belief! I am glad that you immediately sought help and I hope that you will start scanning the vacancies pages for a better job (not that for one nanosecond I would suggest that you should let him win by bowing out gracefully, I am thinking more of your health and well-being).
Comment by Chameleon — July 20, 2005 @ 3:43 pm
There have been comments about my appearance too. But I’m not ready to make those sorts of allegations.
Comment by petite — July 20, 2005 @ 3:55 pm
Petite, is it possible that your boss has a crush on you and this is his very awkward way of showing so? The feelings of possession, the need for conflict and resolution, etc, might be a twisted manifestation of that… Whatever the circumstances are, it sounds like very strange behaviour….
Comment by claudia — July 20, 2005 @ 3:58 pm
My first time commenting here also.So here I go:
I have been in this very same situtation. The best to complaints that I had from my boss were 1/ 1 wasn’t devoted enough ( I think he meant he didn’t like the way I didn’t agree with EVERYTHING he said and work until 21h00 like a little slave 2 / I wasn’t dressed well enough (not enough low cleavage/short skirts)
Anyway to cut a long story short I no longer work with him He eventaully got thanked !!, but that was way after I left his office. I work in a very large company so was able to get a transfer to another department and was so relieved to get away from him.If you go through the whole ‘Prudhomme’ thing you can kiss good bye to your job and it’s a long, long trip to get that far. As a previous poster said and IMO it’s really not the worth the heart break, get out of there ASAP. Things like this don’t work themselves out or get better, life is too short to waste on working for a w***ker. At the time people would say go home and forget about it, but thats impossible it eats away at you day and night until you hate this person. Get out before you are totally depressed and exhausted from the stress. I guess you don’t have the option of a transfer so the best thing might be to get yourself fired so that you can get unemployment benefit and give yourself time to breath before starting something fresh.
The company I work in we are + 10 000 employees and I have seen this type of boss/assistant thing happen literally dozens of times and generally the boss wins because he has more power and is often backed up by HR, so be careful what you say to them too. They will not be on yourside believe me (too scared for their own jobs ! )
I think this type of conflict is very, very common. You spend more time with him than he does with his wife and you can’t shout back as you would if you were his wife.You don’t have the same power rating. So what happens you feel inadequate, depressed, and your self esteem takes a nosedive.
I don’t know you petite but believe me I know what you’re going through. The thing I most regret about my whole ‘bastard boss’ period is that I was a total bitch to my husband and son (you need to take your frustations out on someone) My husband is obviously big enough to understand what I was going through but no child deserves that. So for Tadpole’s sake think very seriously of getting out asap. A nice little stress related “arrêt de travail ” to start with might help to clear things in your head too.
Comment by P in France — July 20, 2005 @ 4:01 pm
Your reaction was both appropriate and wise. Keeping a log of such events is a good idea. You might also browse through old email and find that the behaviour pattern is older than you remembered. This will help with defending yourself if it comes to litigation (or arbitration by HR). And, it will also help you keep your mind clear about what really is happening.
Don’t be afraid of going to the Prud’hommes, especially if your boss suddendly decides to fire you.
When the case is clearly in your favour, you could extract a good compromise from them so they avoid the hassle and bad vibes, especially if they are virtually certain of losing.
Comment by ontario frog — July 20, 2005 @ 4:28 pm
You have done exactly the right thing Petite, and handled it correctly. I have also been a “boss”, but fortunately for me, I was trained by some wonderful supervisors who taught me the value of leadership, and not simply barking out orders and insults and expecting to see results.
I have been fortunate in my working career in that only once have I been put in the situation you find yourself in. I handled it in much the same way you did, save for one confrontaiton in which I was able to have my supervisor back down, as he could not counter my argument against what he was saying. He did not challenge me after that, as he was the type of bully who backed down after getting a bloody nose. (Not literally, of course.)
There is a wonderful saying that I think may just apply to your boss. “Give a person enough rope, and they will eventually hang themselves with it.” Sound like he is building his own gallows by way of his actions.
Stay strong, but resurrecting the CV might not be a bad idea and explring othr options a good thing as well.(Resume, here in the States. A CV is used more often here for academic achievements and publications.) Forgive my ignorance, but what exactly do you do at that company? What is your job description?
Comment by Dave of the Lake — July 20, 2005 @ 4:47 pm
Having been bullied for most of my childhood I know only too well the effect it can have. We have a yearly brief on it in the army which discusses “Intent” and “Effect” and is actually suprisingly good. The main point being that it doesn’t matter what the former is, it’s the latter that counts. Most bullies are unaware of what is going on – although this is no excuse.
Just don’t let the B*&^$(d win.
Comment by Universal Soldier — July 20, 2005 @ 4:48 pm
For what it’s worth, I think you’re going down the right track, my dear. Just be very very very careful talking about all this on the internet – especially if you have an English-speaking sister office (or head office, as the case may be). The mere fact that you’ve talked about it on your blog could be used as ammunition against you.
Comment by Katia — July 20, 2005 @ 4:52 pm
Well, here in francophone Geneva the term used for this type of behaviour is ‘mobbing’ and I believe the term is used in France too. Don’t ask me where the term comes from as I have know idea; possibly the behaviour of a flock of smaller birds chasing away a larger predator. I have personal knowledge of only one case, but the result was a paycut, demotion and a move to another department for the culprit.
My only advice in addition to that already given would be don’t blog at work. Even if you have nothing else to do, don’t risk it.
Comment by Alasdair — July 20, 2005 @ 5:08 pm
I have been there, done that, sued and won. It is exactly as you describe “workplace harrassment”. Nobody has the right to berate you in that matter. Based on things you’ve said in the past, he sounds just like my old boss. I too would go and cry and start to feel better but I was so timid and scared afterward. Which is exactly the control that he sought over me. I actually felt like there was something more that I could do in each situation that might have avoided the confrontation or awkwardness. But in the end, it was he that bore the responsibility of being decent and not acting like a jerk. I just hope that you don’t feel too guilty or blame yourself much. Don’t quit either, he doesn’t have to pay your bills, you do so you stay on and take it until the company resolves it. Either by paying you to leave handsomely or by moving you to someone with a clue. Sorry for the rant, just wanted you to learn from my mistakes.
Comment by Andrea — July 20, 2005 @ 5:11 pm
I can’t see the specifics of your situation, obviously. but endorse everything that’s been said about where and how to discuss things, and familiarising yourself with your rights under French employment law.
Two things occur to me in particular:
I think you mentioned that you’d told your boss you’d separated from Mr Frog? So it does seem possible that this is not irrelevant to his sudden burst of obnoxiousness.
Sooner or later, it’s going to become unbearable for someone as talented as you to be working as a PA. Perhaps you may as well face that now as later.
All the very best with however you decide to deal with it – sounds like you have your head screwed on soundly.
Comment by Jean — July 20, 2005 @ 5:24 pm
Hi petite, first comment.
It’s funny because the first time I heard about “harcèlement moral” it was in an french magazine back in 1997, it was called “mobbing”.
Then they invented the term “harcèlement moral” in France.
I don’t know if it’s the same thing.
J’aime beaucoup ton blog and i wish you well.
Peace.
Comment by Marie — July 20, 2005 @ 5:27 pm
it’s called mobbing, and it is the reason which made me leave my old job, to go back to being my own boss. I hope you can work things out, because it can really break you…
Comment by mélanie — July 20, 2005 @ 5:32 pm
Keep your cool. Keep professional
Document everything with date and time.
List all of your required duties.
List all of your projects.
List all of the “extras” you have been doing
For projects and duties, make sure that you have due dates and estimate the work hours to complete.
Review the list with your boss.
Ask him to make any changes in your duties, projects, due dates, estimated time, etc..
Ask him if you are performing your duties correctly.
If not ask him for specifics on how you can improve.
State how you will improve.
At the end, document the conversation and ask for a weekly meeting to review all projects dates, etc..
Thank him.
Other than pictures of tadpole, do not keep anything personal at work. Always be ready to leave within 5 minutes.
My only advice is: Do not let other people into your head unless they are paying rent.
good luck
Comment by Iowa — July 20, 2005 @ 5:40 pm
A lumpy English term for your boss’s behavior is “creating an unpleasant or hostile work environment.” And it is not acceptable! He’s behaving like a kindergartener. Unless it says “Mommy” on your job description, kick his ass. In a nice, legal way, of course.
Comment by Jugglernaut — July 20, 2005 @ 6:41 pm
Here in Germany it’s called mobbing, when I left California it didn’t have a name yet. But as I recently told my mother, who’s being mobbed out of a job, if it’s bringing you to tears, if it’s bringing you to the edge of losing it, then it’s gone way too far and you don’t have to accept it.
Take notes and then take action, don’t let them take your dignity.
Comment by megan — July 20, 2005 @ 7:17 pm
So sorry this is happening to you, petite. Maybe it is indeed time to leave?
The term “mobbing” (Mélanie mentioned it above) is also used in German for this kind of thing.
Comment by christina — July 20, 2005 @ 8:18 pm
Everybody gave you sound advice and I sign below. But I cannot help the urge to stress one thing: Do not meet him outside the office. Never. Under any circumstances. The situation can become very risky and you must remain surrounded by your colleagues and within the limits of a “formal” environment. Take care.
Comment by Maureen — July 20, 2005 @ 10:20 pm
This is really awful. Note all events,keep calm and if the situation gets really bad go off sick – never resign. Think about doing something else, something you would be happy doing even if you have to do a training course you could apply for a FONGICIF.
Fabulous blog by the way
Comment by Jane — July 21, 2005 @ 12:01 am
Hope everything will go well.
Good luck!
A.
Comment by Adrienhb — July 21, 2005 @ 12:27 am
Lots of preceding wise words & judicious advice. You should not feel apprehensive at work or be caused distress by another’s conduct,whether ‘boss’, collegue or ‘subordinate’. However, do also stand back and analyse the whole scenario as objectively as you can. In my experience (& I have a fair amount of experience of work-related interpersonal stressful situations)it is rare for one party to be entirely ‘guilty’ & the other totally blameless. It is always essential to obtain both perspectives & often evidence from others less closely involved.
So, has the ‘boss’ more reason to be exasperated of late? Has the restlessness & even disdain for the ‘day job’ communicated in the blog been manifested as a less enthusiastic commitment at work? Are you evidently more distracted by taking time to blog, taking more of your personal life into, or out of, the office (lunching at work after being out out of the office all lunch break buying train tickets-however frustrating to you!, for example?) Do you communicate less than you did because you are wrapped up in your world with Mr Newman? None of this may be the case, of course, but it might just be? And it would not excuse inappropriate comment or actions … but it is worth thinking carefully about these, too. Managers often end up making ‘silly comments about trivia’ (eg offered cake before a drink) because the action ‘complained’ of is concete & easy to recall. The manger may find it harder to verbalise a more ambiguous concern,like an ‘awareness of a deteriorating atitude to work’ which cannot easily be translated into any specific action or situation….. so, in frustration, off the wall & inappropriate comments come out. Again, I’m not defending or justifying.. just explorimng & trying to understand.
Even the suggestion of meeting out of work has many possible interpretations! The negsative connotations placed upon this by most comments above may be entirely correct & it may be excellent advice to stay well within office boundaries. However,it could just as well be a genuine desire to meet over a coffeee/drink in a more informal setting, removed from sources of stress to genuinely try to restore a pre-existing better working relationship?…….. Who knows, certainly not me!! But I have learned far too much to form an opinion formed only by information from one of the parties in a dispute of any kind!
Having said all that, we all (or, at least, most of us) love you to bits and hope you can pick your way out of the mire. And we’re pretty sure you will…. you always do!!
Comment by Fella — July 21, 2005 @ 12:58 am
I see bullying in my profession all the time (I am in teaching). I’m glad you woke up seeing the situation differently and took positive steps. That is the only way to beat bullies. Fight back! If that doesn’t work, put laxatives in his coffee.
Comment by Em — July 21, 2005 @ 1:27 am
1 – keep notes – and backdate if you can think of other incidents
2 – start looking around for another job – dig out that CV – you may well be amazed at how employable you really are – and then think what the hell are you still doing here?
3 – don’t let a sad person who defines themselves by their power over others define you … you know who you are and you know what you’re worth
4 – my motto – “work to live, don’t live to work” …..
5 – good luck and keep your chin up!!!!!
Comment by Miss Lisa — July 21, 2005 @ 3:47 am
I am being bullied at work too. Like you, I have been assaulted with ridiculous “complaints.” For example, when I stated that I would do whatever was requested of me in order to complete a project, my manager began harshly lecturing me because he didn’t want my “submission”, he wanted my expertise. WTF? I will be cleaning up my CV this weekend.
Comment by delaïdo — July 21, 2005 @ 4:20 am
You’ve done the right things. I think it’s better to sort it this way rather than running away. At least he won’t be able to do it to someone else when you move on to something better (you’ve got so much to offer Petite, you could work in Publishing and/or become a world famous novelist!).
I’m sending you strong vibes because you’ll need to be against him until things are sorted. Hopefully your company supports its employees in this kind of situations.
Comment by Maurine au bout du monde — July 21, 2005 @ 5:16 am
Haven’t read all the previous comments, but maybe he fancies you. In any case, what a complete horrible jerk. Make sure you sue his arse off.
Comment by dan — July 21, 2005 @ 5:53 am
I worked as an assistant to an abuser like that too. Get out now. Or at least, get your cv in order, find a new position and move on. Don’t take any more of his crap but really, do you think things are going to improve? Take it from one who’s been there. It won’t. There may be rules against this type of behaviour in the workplace but he isn’t heeding them, is he? Save your energy – is the job really worth the battle required?
Comment by Bella Ozfemme — July 21, 2005 @ 6:24 am
Fella – I find your comment interesting. I do feel a little guilty for not being very interested in my job (and maybe you are right that he has picked up on it and can’t quite put his finger on why) but I’m also rather a perfectionist by nature, and have always taken pride in doing the job well.
My performance may have dipped slightly in the years I have been there, and certainly the hours spent at work had to be reduced when I had a child (I now do my statutory 35 hours)but it didn’t suddenly dramatically change in the last two months. His attitude did.
Also, there is a general feeling in my office that several people are being targeted at the moment, and I am the one coming off worst.
And as for the people who have theories about the personal aspect of it: it did start when I left Mr Frog and started seeing my Lover, and walzed around the office looking like the cat that got the cream. Seems like rather a coincidence to me.
Sadly I am wearing a pair of golden handcuffs. I won’t find the same pay elsewhere, I am convinced of that. And I can’t afford to be in Paris without it. So as long as I want to be here for Tadpole and Mr Frog’s sake, I will have to stick this job out. Them’s the breaks
Comment by petite — July 21, 2005 @ 10:44 am
Excuse me, but you have a university degree and you are doing a secretarial job in a country/city that you are considering leaving anyway?? Or did I miss something?
Comment by Tess — July 21, 2005 @ 10:48 am
I don’t think it’s a good idea to take advise from anyone who says “going forward” with the possible exception of a rugby referee.
Comment by reachy — July 21, 2005 @ 11:49 am
Well Petite, it seems you got plenty of advice and support, including at least one job offer. Let me be content with reflecting on the subject issue.
Maybe the reason why you could not think (on the spot) of an English equivalent to ‘harcèlement’ is that it is much more a part of the French workplace than of any other workplace. Such related expressions as ‘petit chef’ or ‘cheffaillon’ have been around for even longer, and I do not know of an English equivalent.
This French singularity is very much related of the old notion of ‘droit divin’ – our Kings were God’s representatives, and our bosses are widely said to have inherited the holy unction. Cartoons mocking the MEDEF’s former President, Baron Seillière, frequently harp on that (assumed) side of his personality, and he does nothing to discourage it. Middle level executives, while being in posession of a mere parcel of that divine authority, make very sure it is not ignored. In many French companies, the pecking order is no joke.
I am French and have been working abroad for all of my life; part of the reason is I could not stand working in a French workplace. And the only problems I’ve had with supervisors were with French ones – a French subordinate inevitably awakens old instincts in them.
Which may be why harassment (yes, that’s the English equivalent), while it’s by no means a French exclusivity, is targeted with such ferocity by the French judiciary – along with racism, fiscal evasion and other shadowy yet untractable sides of the Gallic soul.
Bon courage!
Comment by Dominique — July 21, 2005 @ 11:58 am
On the translation line – I work in a translation company in Rennes…
Comment by Lucy-Jane in Rennes — July 21, 2005 @ 12:00 pm
“Mobbing”, as the name suggests, is when an entire department or company gangs up on one individual member, because he/she is different in some small way, and is quite dissimilar to workplace bullying where one senior employee hassles one or more junior employees.
Does your boss act like a git to other people? If you could get at least one other person to back up your complaint, or even act as a witness it should help matters greatly.
Comment by reachy — July 21, 2005 @ 12:22 pm
To Dominique I’d reply that teachers seem to have that side to them in France as well (even if they’re not Franch), and I’m talking about adult education in private institutions. I don’t know about state schools. And French people in the class who are better-educated than the teacher put up with it!
Comment by Tess — July 21, 2005 @ 1:10 pm
What would it cost you to see a “Prudhomme”? He or she
could advise you much better than any of us.
They’re are made for that.
Hoping you did well to speak it out with London,but I’m not sure about that,well……
Comment by GPV — July 21, 2005 @ 1:22 pm
Good for you, Petite! I’ve been facing the same thing at work and it really affected my health and well-being until I talked to our HR staffers and got some good advice. Don’t back down!
Comment by Bad Hippie — July 21, 2005 @ 3:12 pm
hmmm I’m sorry if that comes over rude, but people, get a grip. Harcèlement moral is a really strong word, and while Petite might have a case, the law (i have an HR background) is very strict in the interpretation of it. what she wrote is not considered as harcelement moral.
But hell petite, u’ll get another job easily…
Comment by stephan — July 21, 2005 @ 4:57 pm
I just discovered the French word ‘harceler’ this week and blogged about it. If you google the word ‘harcèlement’, you’ll find a tremendous amount of information and resources on the subject. Do French bosses tremble in their boots when you mention ‘hostile work environment’ the way American bosses do?
Madame Tut
Comment by Madame Tut — July 21, 2005 @ 9:01 pm
I can’t imagine what it must be like to report on your day — an unpleasant day with an unpleasant boss who is not behaving well — and to have 56 people from across the globe comment on it. It seems to me that this would begin to affect the way you live your life. Honesty on stage is a virtual impossibility. I admire your strength, but am concerned about your maintaining your most charming characteristic — genuine expression. At what point does journal writing for the masses become exhibitionism that distorts or undermines your earnestness and charm? This is not a matter to be tossed aside lightly. I wish you and Tadpole all the best. Please keep posting.
Comment by Robert — July 23, 2005 @ 4:18 am
There’s little point me adding to the comments made here except I had to deal with a senior management type who liked to ‘scapegoat’ (i.e. things go wrong then it’s all X’s fault not the management’s handling of the situation). I walked home in tears one evening, consulted with a legal friend over the weekend and then let it be known about the workplace that I had done so and that I could a) walk and b)sue. They did not try scapegoating me again.
Comment by Mags — July 24, 2005 @ 7:27 pm
Oh how I wish that I had the option of calling HR and reporting my boss or past bosses. In my situation that would be laughable. I hope all works out for you though.
Comment by eddo — July 24, 2005 @ 11:17 pm
Do DO what Iowa said, it sounds a lot of hassle but otherwise you end up painted into a corner. Because he wants to get you more than you want to defend yourself right now.
Comment by Hilary Temple — July 25, 2005 @ 1:46 pm