Comments on: lost weekend

By: Fabien

Fabien — Sat, 13 Nov 2004 18:00:50 +0000

The In Laws, misleadingly called belle mère and beau père in French [...]

Actually, they’re not the ones supposed to be “beaux” according to the idiom: it’s just a shortening for “La mere de ma belle” (resp. “mon beau”) and “Le pere de ma belle”.

As for intrusive parents in law, I can only commiserate, I had similar experiences, without even needing to have a child…

By: daisy

daisy — Fri, 05 Nov 2004 13:05:07 +0000

Is there any way at all to avoid trouble with IL at all? My previous IL were nothing but trouble, specially MIL who tought that the little one hopping around was in fact her son and not mine. Having gotten rid of these IL and moved far far away, I thought that this time I would get it right with my new bf, by not getting married at all. So far it’s working, probably dues to the fact that IL are 3 hours away, and also that there’s no common kid. Now that i read your post, I start to wonder whether the problems will star if a newborn arrives… Does anyone know how to avoid those problems?

By: petite

petite — Tue, 02 Nov 2004 21:41:43 +0000

The Frog tells me it is ‘psychologie inversée’.

but he’s proved an unreliable dictionary in the past so I’d take that with a pinch of salt.

By: yayaempress

yayaempress — Tue, 02 Nov 2004 20:47:19 +0000

How do you say “reverse psychology” in French?

By: David

David — Tue, 02 Nov 2004 08:56:13 +0000

I always get the feeling that my in-laws feel a sense of obligation in the things they do for our kids – but not necessarily any joy or great pleasure in the experience. In fact, I often think they’re relieved when the visits are over. That’s just the way they are. Are they trying to give you some relief, thinking they’re doing you a favour? But anyway, whoever heard of an open, honest discussion about child-raising with the in-laws?

By: petite

petite — Tue, 02 Nov 2004 07:47:04 +0000

sans moi – toi de même, j’adore ce que tu écris… et ton post sur ce weekend me touche bcp!

By: sansmoi

sansmoi — Mon, 01 Nov 2004 23:23:01 +0000

tiens c’est marrant moi je vis Ã§a avec ma mÃ¨re… en ce moment elle a ma fille avec elle en vacances, et j’ai aussi l’impression qu’elle me la tient en otage, tellement je ne sais mÃªme pas quand elle me la rendra

horrible impression

dans ces moments-lÃ je dÃ©teste ma mÃ¨re

By: Lisa

Lisa — Mon, 01 Nov 2004 22:33:17 +0000

Actually, other thought – though probably you’d like to be able to make the choice / timing yourself – have another kid …. have two more kids …. have four more kids! spread the load around a bit!!!!!!

By: Valkyrie

Valkyrie — Mon, 01 Nov 2004 07:13:55 +0000

What is it with MIL and FIL’s that do this to them? My MIL and FIL consider me part human, because I haven’t contributed to the grandchildren yet – only been married 3 months – gimme a break. I’m guessing that when I do eventually ‘produce’, the same will happen, we might as well just dumpt the kiddiewinkle with grams and gramps and be off having a nice adult kidfree weekend. Rather that than endure lectures on how to raise kids…

By: Lisa

Lisa — Sun, 31 Oct 2004 23:14:02 +0000

My mum (only child) had a demanding mum – but we kids understood – saddest thing (to me) is now that she has died mum’s only thought on mother’s day is that she doesn’t HAVE to make the trip to see her mum – who had no kids except her and never though that daughter with 3 kids under 4 would appreciate it more if her mum visited her on the day rather than the other way round – 3 toddlers in a kombi on a 3 hour drive to sydney …. aaaaarrrrrgggghhhh!!!!!

I say BUGGER “EM petite! and BUGGER the frog as well if he doesn’t understand – he’s not dumb – it’s just easier not to act like a grown up and expect the respect from his parents as an adult that he accords them … sorry to be blunt. if, in the future, the Tadpole asks you why you don’t visit her grandparents – tell her – but make darn sure that you do it only as information and with no resentment – and keep sending them invitations to visit you – that way you will not be on the back foot when you’re accused of not wanting to see them!

And before anyone says “Australia” – wouldn’t understand European thinking – other parent is Australian born Croatian – thank God he had a great mum and 4 older sisters and is non-patriarchal (though still head of the household) – sorry if that offends all Croatians out there but in Oz (probably not in Croatia) it’s well known that Croatian dads are incredibly strict and patriarchal – I’m just glad mine isn’t!