2004 August « petite anglaise

August 12, 2004

busy, busy, busy scissors

Filed under: misc — petiteanglaise @ 6:24 pm

I’m not sure what possessed me (maybe it was seeing ‘Cutting It’ on BBC Prime), but I decided to brave an English hairdressing salon for a change. Whenever I have found a decent hairdresser in Paris in the past, he/she emigrated shortly afterwards, so I found myself constantly testing new hairdressers with often distressing results. This despite having revised my French hairdressing vocabulary – although I suspect that my dictionary is guilty of misinformation. It led me to believe that ‘dégradé’ meant ‘layered’. In my opinion a better translation would be ‘something suitably degrading’. The haircut inflicted on me prior to the birth of my daughter was so vile (think raccoon with mange) that I have edited myself out of her photo album/the first six months of her life.

The salon that my sister recommended in York seemed professional enough, but the prices quoted over the phone were worryingly inexpensive. I looked up their website, which featured lots of pictures of asymmetric fringes and spoke of branches in Thirsk, Scunthorpe, Ilkley, Brussels and Shanghai. Oddly this was not a source of comfort.

Thankfully the ordeal is now over and I don’t have any regrets. Yet. But I must say that a lot of things have changed since my last visit to a hairdressers in the UK.

First of all, I got one of those lovely head massages I have grown to expect in France and it made me groan out loud (hastily followed by a fake fit of coughing to cover up my embarrassment). Secondly, I accepted the offer of coffee, expecting a little espresso to revive me from my head massage torpor. When it arrived, it was a frothy latte in a tall glass with cinnamon sprinkles on top. If only the hairdresser had stopped snipping for just a second so I could drink it before it got cold. It was like having a haircut in Starbucks.

On a less positive note, the salon apparently opens seven days a week. Is this a good thing? A hairdresser complete with raging hangover on a Sunday morning is surely not the most cheerful/skillful of creatures? I don’t think I’d push my luck that far.

Comments (3)

August 10, 2004

lost in translation

Filed under: Uncategorized — petiteanglaise @ 4:35 pm

Browsing on amazon.fr for a present for the Frog (shhh!), I was struck by the rather random titling policy which applies when English language films are released in France.

For some films, inexplicably, translation of the title is not considered necessary: e.g. Seven, Pretty Woman, Kill Bill. Of course the pronunciation leaves something to be desired. ‘Speeeederman 2′ is showing at the moment.

Others are translated, but end up sounding unspeakably naff in French. Case in point: “Eh mec, elle est où ma caisse?” for “Dude, where’s my car?”

The French don’t seem to tolerate films named after their protagonist, so they add a by-line to give a flavour of who the character is, or what they are up to. Erin Brokovich was ‘seule contre tous‘ (alone against the world); ‘Alfie’ became ‘Alfie: le dragueur‘ (the chat-up artist). Place names receive a similar treatment, as in ‘Coup de foudre à Notting Hill‘ (Love at first sight in Notting Hill). You must admit that the French title does capture the inherent cheesiness of the film rather nicely, n’est ce pas?

Then of course there are names which are changed beyond all recognition, for no apparent reason: Die Hard = ‘The Crystal Trap’. Die Hard 2 = ‘58 minutes to live’. I couldn’t understand why the Frog had never heard of ‘Breakfast at Tiffany’s’ and accused him of being a philistine, until one day I realised that this film is known as ‘Diamants sur canapé’. So there are mitigating circumstances (although I suspect he may still be none the wiser).

My favourite French translation of a flilm title was a by-line spotted on the poster for ‘Finding Nemo’, which included a clin d’oeil to Jaws – ‘Les Dents de la Mer’ (Teeth of the Sea).

‘Némo: Les Dents de Lait de la Mer’, the milk teeth of the sea. Aww.

Comments (3)

August 9, 2004

lady of the manor

Filed under: misc — petiteanglaise @ 8:16 pm

Mr Frog, if you are reading, can you check out this link and see if you object to my applying for the position mentioned therein? I quite fancy myself as Lady of the Château, provided it comes with a cellar full of claret and a butler. And someone to do the ironing. And washing up. And …

Apologies. Getting a bit carried away.

Comments (1)

August 8, 2004

with scraps please

Filed under: missing blighty — petiteanglaise @ 2:11 pm

Will be airborne in a couple of hours with screaming, wriggling toddler strapped to me and fellow passengers wishing that BMI baby provided complimentary earplugs.

However, it will all be worth it when I get to my destination and unwrap my fish, chips, mushy peas and scraps. ‘Scraps’ would appear to be a Northern delicacy only, as when I lived south of Watford, no-one I met was willing to believe that eating fish shop cupboard scrapings was legal. Southerners have some far stranger practices of their own: curry sauce on the chips, and mushy peas which are the wrong colour (not nearly fluorescent enough). I used to bring the odd can of Bachelors ‘chip shop style’ mushy peas over in my hand luggage, but I have to say that crispy, skinny little French fries just don’t do them justice.

Aahh. I can almost smell them already.

Or maybe the Tadple needs a nappy change?

NB – this bizarre spellchecker integrated into blogger just tried to replace ‘earplugs’ with ‘warbles’? What is a ‘warble’ when it’s at home?

Comments (8)

August 7, 2004

english tongues

Filed under: Uncategorized — petiteanglaise @ 9:16 pm

I feel I must share this small ad found in the fusac (France USA contacts) magazine:

Wanted section, page 40:

Frenchman with depression living with his cousin seeks English tongue people for English afternoon session 15€, no previous experience needed, non homophobic people welcome. diction@wanadoo.fr

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August 6, 2004

madame moustique

Filed under: city of light — petiteanglaise @ 2:48 pm

Must start a moblog…

…if only to show you the size of the mosquito bite on my heel – sustained while minding my own business on the metro on the way to work this morning.

*scratch*

And now the one on my hand from yesterday’s journey is itching again too.

*scratch scratch*

The line 7bis metro runs in a little loop around the Buttes Chaumont park. Once upon a time, fact fans, this area used to be a quarry, so the metro tunnels here are deeper underground than elsewhere in Paris. It’s cool and moist and local mosquitoes love it (and me), so I am plagued all year round.

Evidently they have mutated into an especially evil breed equipped with razor-sharp proboscises. I can see no other explanation for how Madame Moustique (know your enemy: the female sucks blood, the male eats plants) managed to bore through the skin on my heel. Let’s just say a pedicure wouldn’t go amiss, so she must have been motivated.

So, if you are planning a trip to Paris, don’t forget to pack one of these. I’m told there are alternative uses, so you are unlikely to regret this purchase.

comments:

Word of the day – proboscises. I’ve not seen that word on a blog in absolutely ages.
Had to look it up, in fact. I’m pleased to report that I have a rather fine proboscises myself (according to one definition on dictionary.com).

Thierry Henry!
Tim | Email | Homepage | 08.07.04 – 12:45 pm | #

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Was plague by mozzies on holiday and scared to death of getting malaria (got legionnaire’s disease instead, but that’s another story). Now it’s the bloody wasps!

Good bloggage btw.
backroads | Email | Homepage | 08.08.04 – 9:39 am | #

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merci bcp!
petite anglaise | Email | Homepage | 08.08.04 – 11:06 pm | #

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